


Easy job

by Azucuache



Category: Andromeda Six (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Meeting, Never know what to write as a tag, a year ago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:28:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25188694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azucuache/pseuds/Azucuache
Summary: And here they thought it wouldn’t be an easy job.First meeting between Vexx and the eleventh heir, and beginning of something to turn their worlds upside down.
Relationships: Vexx Serif/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 49
Kudos: 88





	1. Last assignment

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be just a short (it got a little longer, sorry) story of how Vexx and the traveller met for the first time. It's totally headcannon, obviously, and most likely different than how it truly happened. 
> 
> Not much fluff, sorry, they didn't know each other yet. If anything, I tried for slightly disdainful Vexx. I plan to add more, but you know how life can be.
> 
> Also, Vexx, Nerissa, other characters, all of the world, and even part of my traveller is a visual novel Andromeda Six of amazingly talented group of people, working under the name Wanderlust games. All credit for this amazing world goes to them. If you don't know them, be sure to visit their tumblr, itch.io or patreon for more information.
> 
> (And I would like to apologize for any typos or mistakes. I'm not a native speaker. And while I try my best, I'm not infallible and still have a lot to learn. If you notice anything, please feel free to send me a message about. I don't mind and it helps me get better. Thank you) 
> 
> And thank you for reading.

The very last of his assignments tonight and then he could finally get back to the real job. Vexx stood straight, arms behind his back, eyes roaming all around the excessively large room. Empty save for a table in a middle, over a dozen fancy chairs with high backrests and those fourteen people seated around it. Not counting a few fellow guards by his side. 

_That’s one messed up family,_ Vexx mused derisively as he watched the royals eating their dinner and tried his best to keep the thoughts off his face. Not a word between them, they ate in complete, cringy silence with only clatter of cutlery punctuating it. Not only was it cringy, but also revolting, repulsive and boring. He found himself almost longing for those evenings when they had decided to speak, but then remembered what kind of rubbish they chose do discuss over their meal. 

His eyes examined their faces though, one at a time, recognizing those facing the room. King Fenris sat in the middle, high and mighty, arrogant and cruel as ever. Then his three wives sat by his right hand; the beautiful one, the crazy one and the bitter one. 

The eldest child, the heir, Nerissa, sat by his left, followed with the twins – Vexx had no idea which was which, and cared even less. Then there was an empty spot for Elettra. 

The rest was too unimportant to face the room. There was the fifth heir with his head slightly bowed between his shoulders, eating silently. Sorenn, just like his superior Orsanna’s Guard sister, was missing. The rest was there. 

Vexx knew the names, obviously, but the faces weren’t as known, or weren’t known at all. Some might consider this a priceless opportunity to see the rest of the family, but that was not why he was here. 

_No distractions. Do your job and get out of this hellhole_ , Vexx reminded himself, blinking when there was the sound of chairs screeching across the floor. Making certain his face was a perfectly neutral mask, Vexx stared ahead when the king stomped outside the dining room with two of his queens in tow. Ta’jean remained seat for a few more moments before grimacing and leaving as well. 

That was good. Meaning the obligatory part of the evening meal was over. Soon the royals would start leaving. 

_Finally_ , he mused when first of the guards left as well, following the king and queens in the unending task to answer to their every whim. More thoughts along the line followed as first of the children started to disperse as well, and soon only a handful guards remained behind. 

Those Vexx didn’t recognize lingered a little longer before they started trailing out of the room as well. All of them were unaccompanied by guards since only the most important family members were assigned one inside the palace, which left only four people in the room. The youngest brat, judging by her sitting at the far end of the table, and the heir to the throne with her guard. Damian’s eyes followed his princess’ movements when she rose to her feet and moved around the table. Her high heels clicked loudly, the sound reverberating around the empty space. 

Instead of heading to the door, she continued alongside the table until she took a seat next to the last remaining royal. 

Next to Vexx, Damian sighed quietly. Vexx caught his eyes and the senior guard shrugged, making an annoyed grimace. 

But them his attention was drawn forth at the sound of Nerissa’s voice. “Why the long face?” She spoke quietly, her tone soft and meek while addressing her younger sibling. 

The answer was lost to Vexx, but whatever it was, the youngest Peg’asi hung her head and pushed away the plate in front of her. She had barely touched the meal, Vexx noticed and couldn’t help but lift a corner of his mouth in contempt. People went hungry out there while this brat turned up her fancy royal nose at the feast! 

“Well, maybe next time you should be more careful. Father noticed your sour looks,” Nerissa replied with a small smile. 

“As well as he should,” the youngest – Zaeera, Vexx recalled – retorted with undignified snort. 

“Oh? What brought this on?” Nerissa asked, still sounding amused, as she reached out to put a free strand of Zaeera’s hair behind her ear. 

Sighing deeply, Zaeera twisted in the seat, turning to face her elder sister. Vexx studied her glowering profile with slightly lifted eyebrows. Whatever she replied was too quiet for him to catch, but Nerissa’s reaction was pure horror. 

“On your own?” she all but exclaimed, rising to her feet. 

“Yes, on my own. Do you see anyone else sharing my interests around here?” the younger princess retorted, rising to her feet as well, albeit more slowly, almost wearily. She was only a bit shorter than the heir, though the heels they both wore probably created or hid some of that difference. 

A flash of anger crossed Nerissa’s face. She made a step forward to close their distance. Vexx strained his ears to hear. “There’s protocol for these things for a reason. Something could have happened to you. When I showed you the way, I didn’t do it so that you could kill your boredom and risk your life.” 

“It wasn’t like that,” Zaeera opposed calmly. “It opened my eyes to a lot of things, Neri. Isn’t that worth a little risk?” 

Nerissa took a breath to speak, but the youngest was quicker. “And I wasn’t in any danger. You see, the thing is...they didn’t recognize me. No one knew my face. That’s how important I am. That’s what my life is worth,” she hissed through clenched teeth, her voice shaking. 

Now it was Nerissa’s turn to speak so quietly Vexx failed to understand. 

“For my protection?” Zaeera laughed. “If father was so concerned with my safety, why not give me a personal guard,” she continued, waving her hand towards the entrance where Vexx and Damian stood unmoving, both pretending not to listen. 

But while Damian seemed gradually more and more uncomfortable, Vexx found himself leaning forward with interest. 

“I’ll tell you why,” she continued, lowering her voice. “I’m just a contingency plan of a contingency plan of a contingency plan. All I’m allowed to do is stay in my wing of the palace, sit and be quiet. I’m nothing around here, and I’m even less out there and...and-“ she choked up, turning away from her sister. 

Nerissa closed her eyes briefly. “Zae,” she whispered. Then she moved slowly, almost hesitantly, and pulled the younger woman into her arms. Vexx could see her lips moving, but didn’t hear what she said as she stroked her sister’s hair. 

Vexx glanced at Damian by his side to find him frowning at the scene with obvious disapproval. His mouth was set in a tight line before he finally reached his patience at the drama in front of him and cleared his throat. “I apologize for the intrusion, Your Highness,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I’m afraid we have places to be.” 

Nerissa answered with an unhappy scowl, but nodded. She closed her eyes again and squeezed her sister before taking a step back. The younger princess turned her back to the two remaining guards, wiping her face with the back of her hand, Vexx noticed. “Yes, of course. Thank you for reminding me,” Nerissa said as she briefly touched Zaeera’s arm. She seemed very reluctant to leave. 

She looked over her shoulder twice before she stood side by side with Vexx. But instead of leaving the room at last, she paused as her eyes fell on Vexx who squared his shoulders under her attention. 

Damn. Attention. He wasn’t supposed to get any. Especially not from the heir to the throne. His heart picked up its pace. 

“I haven’t seen you before, have I?” she asked after a short moment. 

“I have been working at the palace for three weeks, Your Highness,” Vexx replied, unsure whether to meet her eyes or not. It felt like he wasn’t supposed to. Until she smiled at him. 

“What is your name?” 

“My-?” Vexx stuttered, ignoring Damian’s rolling his eyes behind the princess’ shoulder. “Serif, Your Higness. Lieutenant Serif,” he added quickly. 

Nerissa shared features with her father, but there was nothing of Fenris’ anger and disdain in her eyes when her smile widened. “Nice to meet you, Lieutenant Serif. I hope you’ll enjoy your service as a Royal Guard. Also I’d like to ask you to accompany my sister to her room.” 

Vexx’s eyes moved to the woman at question on their own accord. 

“I can get there on my own,” Zaeera spun to look at her sister, her flowing, dark blue skirt whirling around her. Tiny gemstones dusting the light fabric glittered with her every move. Vexx’ eyes rose up her slender body, long neck and finally rested on her face. 

Zaeera didn’t quite reach her mother’s unearthly beauty and elegance, but she made a very decent attempt. Dark blue eyes shone from her face, still red from crying. Her nose and cheeks, paler that her sister’s, were powdered with freckles, and her small mouth was set stubbornly. Her dark brown hair spilled over her shoulder at her sudden motion and she flicked it away impatiently. 

Well, she was definitely on the pretty side of the family, Vexx thought. Almost a shame the king was hiding her. 

And then he realized Nerissa still watched him. He met her eyes and resisted shifting his weight when she lifted her eyebrows infinitesimally. She’d caught him staring even if the younger princess hadn’t. “Yes, of course, Your Highness,” he replied curtly, his shoulder stiffening. 

“Good,” Nerissa nodded. 

“Don’t treat me like a child, Nerissa,” Zaeera hissed, her heels clicking loudly as she made her way towards them. 

“I’m just trying to protect you, Zae. We’ll talk about this more, I promise, but now I really need to go. Before I do however, promise me you’ll stay where you’re supposed to. I don’t want you wandering on your own.” 

“But-!”

“Promise me, Zaeera, please,” Nerissa whispered, using softness against her sister’s anger. 

Anger that ebbed away instantly. Zaeera looked at Vexx with a small frown, sizing him up. She held his eye shortly. For a very brief moment, so fleeting Vexx wasn’t certain if it was there at all, she smirked at him. But then she looked at her sister again, all meek and resigned. “Fine,” she said softly, bowing her head a little. “I promise not to wander on my own.” 

Nerissa held out a hand and touched her cheek briefly, making her look her in the eye again. “Thank you. I love you, little sister. Please don’t you ever forget that,” she said instead of goodbye and turned on the spot. Her footfalls echoed down the corridor, followed by Damian’s. Zaeera stood unmoving until they couldn’t be heard any more. 

“Do you have anything important you wanted to do tonight?” Zaeera asked as she watched the empty corridor. It took Vexx a few seconds to realize she was talking to him. 

“...no?” Vexx replied hesitantly, not certain where the princess was going with this. “...Your Highness,” he added quickly although it seemed she cared little for the honorific. 

“Then I might use your help. Come, I’ll explain later,” she nodded, smiling a little, and begun leading the way. Vexx trailed behind her, confused and maybe a little annoyed. Babysitting royal children was not how he had planned tonight. Though he could hardly wriggle out of whatever the princess had in mind explaining that he had a job to complete for Zovack, right? 

They reached Zaeera’s rooms and Vexx was baffled when the princess stopped at the door and called at a few people inside. When no one answered, she hurried in and beckoned him in as well. 

Vexx hesitated, pausing at the threshold. 

She clicked her tongue at him. “Guards are not usually posted outside my door. It’ll look suspicious. Come in,” she hissed as she disappeared further into her suite. 

He closed the door behind himself and swallowed heavily, looking around. _This is bad, this is bad, this is bad_ , he chanted inwardly. No one was supposed to notice him. No one was supposed to remember him. That’s why he always volunteered for the most boring jobs, the kind no one else wanted. Not even in his wildest dreams would he have imagined ending up in private chambers of one of the Peg’asi brats. 

Slowly whirling around, he took in all there was in here. There was a sofa, the one-sided kind where you lie on your side, a table, a couple of chairs. All that fancy royal sort with heavily decorated wood and big, puffy upholstery. The furniture looked so pristine Vexx felt dirty just by standing next to them. 

_Dark blue_ , Vexx thought, a finger running up the armrest. The fabric felt soft and warm. _No flowers, no jewels, no fancy pictures on the walls_ , his mind continued the list inwardly as he examined the room. _No ritzy tea set or other kinds of baubles that are supposed to impress your guest. _For a royal person the antechamber, waiting room, whatever the hall was called, looked quite plain, Vexx decided.__

Then something at the edge of his vision demanded he brought his attention to the door leading deeper into the suite. 

She stood there, her hands joined in front of her stomach. Gone was the robe. Now she was wearing black trousers and a dark red jacket. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail. She wore no earrings, no necklace, no bracelets or rings. Her shoes had flat sole. 

On their way back up to her face Vexx eyes noticed the way she wrung her fingers. _Is she nervous?_ , he wondered, narrowing his eyes at her. 

She noticed and let her hands fall freely alongside her hips, then pointed at one of the chairs. “You may sit down.” 

Vexx looked at the offered chair, but didn’t move. 

Zaeera sighed and moved a little closer. Suddenly she was quite short, hardly reaching up to his chin. “I...I wanted to ask for a favour, I guess?” she started. 

A predatory smile almost forced its way to Vexx’s lips. Having a Royal owe you one? Sounded good. 

When he didn’t react, she looked away briefly and touched the back of her neck. _Nervous and insecure. Interesting. I thought they taught them to conduct themselves in some fancy royal fashion._

“I...as of late I kind of realized that things in here and out there were different,” she started saying at last, “and I...I have made the habit of sneaking out of the palace to learn more about our people and their lives and opinions...” 

Vexx’s eyes widened, then narrowed as he watched the princess while she spoke. 

“...and you just heard that I promised not to wander on my own. But...if I had someone with me, maybe I...could? And it would be good to have someone with me who also knew the city.” 

“You managed to sneak out of the palace? On your own?” The wheels turned in his head at the speed of light. “No one noticed you?” 

Misinterpreting his questions, luckily, she looked away as she nodded a few times. “I know this could land you in a very big trouble if they caught you. And I know I have no right to ask this of you. You have no reason to believe me that no one will see us. And if you say no, which is okay, really, all I ask is that you keep this conversation to-”

Making an involuntary step forwards, Vexx cut her off. “It would be my honour, Your Highness.” 

“I understand completely, don-“ she paused, looked at him with wide eyes. “What?” 

Straightening his uniform Vexx repeated, slowly: “It would be my honour to accompany you, Your Highness, as well as my duty to make certain nothing harms you.” 

And inside of him fireworks exploded and technicolour lights flashed. He’d been weeks at the palace already with nothing to show for it. He couldn’t believe his luck that had just fallen into his lap without him having to lift a finger! 

She beamed at him, all but jumping on the balls of her feet. “You would go with me?” 

“It’s my duty to protect the royal family,” Vexx kept on droning. She seemed to be happy to hear it. 

She bit her lower lip, took a deep breath and held it for a moment. Her eyes were big and excited and she suddenly seemed like a ten years old girl instead of an heir to the- well, a contingency plan of a contingency plan. How apt and self-reflective of her. 

So they set off, Vexx once again following her steps. She walked surprisingly quietly, gliding rather than walking, really, or maybe it was her enthusiasm she didn’t quite manage to hide. 

And then it was Vexx’s turn to try to hide his enthusiasm. Zaeera had just stopped in front of an ordinary wall...and made it slide aside with only a soft click. 

_And here they thought it wouldn’t be an easy job_ , Vexx smirked before he followed the princess inside a dark tunnel. 


	2. This was business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A smile formed on Vexx’s lips as he stirred gently. Yes, he really was happy for the first time in three weeks. Job well done. And more to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and thank you for reading :)

Vexx sighed contently as he closed eyes at last, snuggled up on his bunk and doing his best to ignore his snorting wannabe comrades. 

He was happy for the first time in three weeks. Today had been an unexpected surprise and success. One he refused to let slip between his fingers and so he’d decided to go through that secret route at least once a day to commit it to his memory until the next meeting with Zovack. Not that he was afraid he might ever forget something as big as this, but he just wanted to be certain. 

The thing was in order to minimize risks of being discovered he couldn’t write anything down. Anything and everything he’d discover would have to be stored in his mind until he’d be summoned to relay his information. 

Meetings were scheduled randomly and not even he knew where or when. Probably in case he decided to betray their cause. Not that he had such an intention, but you didn’t get as far as Zovack did without being careful.

Last meeting had been all about updating the palace schematics. Details such as purpose of each room, the guards routes and routines as well as info on anyone who might be swayed into helping them as well. 

Not that Zovack couldn’t procure such information without an inside help, but this was faster. And it gave Vexx a certain semblance of success. But now...now he’d succeeded for real. 

Or, to be precise, he’d been lucky, but no one needed to know that.

No, that wasn’t quite right... No one _should_ know about the princess. After all, his orders had been to blend in the shadows, be just a nameless face among the crowd the royals are happy to look past. Although no one specifically prohibited it, he doubted Zovack would be happy to know Vexx had spent half a night with one of the Peg’asi.

Or that he’d even asked to accompany her the next time she felt like sneaking out of her old man’s place. But it was the easiest way Vexx could think of to learn about other secret routes. And he _needed_ to learn more. 

Because...you know. Knowing this one was great, but it wasn’t exactly ideal. It was too narrow and long, and he’d almost killed himself on those stairs. Not a good path if you hurry and are nervous about the violent coup you are about to cause. Not to mention the entry – or exit, depending on your direction – in the palace was too remote. Anyone coming through there would have to cross half the palace which would increase chances of being caught and alarm being raised. 

But there was hope. If there was this one, there surely had to be more. Vexx was too careful to ask straight away, but maybe in time he would gain enough of princess’s trust to start asking questions like this. 

Vexx grinned, rolling to his side in a hope to get more comfortable. It was funny like his mission turned from _find a way in and out while trying to avoid the royals’ attention_ to _how to make one of the royals show me more_. 

And then another thought followed. A small one, intrusive and maybe even unwanted, but being half-asleep Vexx had neither strength nor care to banish it. _Maybe the trips to the city won’t even be such a pain in my side as I thought._

...

 _“So...is this how you pass your time out here? Wandering about aimlessly and bribing children?” Vexx asked curtly. He knew he was probably stretching her patience with the remark, but she_ had _told him to drop the “Your Highness” out here._

_She didn’t seem offended. “I’m exploring,” she corrected him softly as she approached him in a few slow strides, though not before looking over her shoulder at the fountain. “And that wasn’t bribing. They wanted to make a wish_.”

 _Vexx almost snorted at that. Did it make her feel better? Giving away a few coins as if it could redeem her conscience for neglecting her subjects all her life. But he wasn’t going to say this out loud obviously._

_“It was very generous of you,” he said instead, certain that this was what she wanted to hear. Just how big a human ego could get, really?_

_“No,” she said so softly he almost didn’t catch it. “It was selfish of me actually.”_

_Vexx stared at her, surprised._

_She didn’t seem to notice. Her eyes had turned distant. “I just wanted to see them smile to pretend everything is fine with our people.”_

_Vexx glanced at the fountain briefly as if he still could see the two children with their eyes closed as they had made their wish. “What do you mean by that?”_

_She gave him a tired look. “I don’t just talk to children, you know. I talk to other people as well. The angrier they are the easier it is to get them to talk.” Pocketing her hands, she hung her head a little, eyes on the pavement beneath her feet. “Our people are not happy.”_

_“No,” Vexx found himself replying before he could stop himself. “They are not.”_

_“And it’s my father’s fault.”_

_This time Vexx knew better and remained silent._

_“The way he treats us is the same way he treats this system and I had almost failed to notice.” She turned away from him now. She looked into the distance and it took Vexx a moment to realize it was the direction of the palace. “All those years seeing Nerissa fight him every step of the way and I never figured it out. What does that say about me?”_

_Vexx blinked, watching the back of her head as if he saw her for the first time._

_“No,” she spoke again with a soft, mirthless chuckle. “Don’t say anything, please. I don’t think I’m ready to hear the answer.”_

_“Why are you telling me all this, princess?” Vexx asked eventually. “You don’t know me,” he added when she met his eye. “For all you know I might go straight to the king after we get back.”_

_She snorted at that. “Hardly. Father doesn’t do audiences much,” she replied and all that gloom from before was suddenly gone. She’d straightened her back and pushed her shoulders slightly back. Also lifted her chin. There was a small, almost playful smile on her lips._

_Vexx blinked. Was that her going into a princess mode? A mask she’d been taught to put on to hide her true feelings, to always appear presentable and amicable and...and..._

_“Disregarding that detail, the moment I chose to ask you to accompany me I made a decision to risk it. You said you’d been working here for three weeks. Nerissa didn’t know you. That means you’re not one of the top guards who get to protect her and father so often. So it is likely no one has noticed you and thought to recruit you to the_ let’s-spy-on-my-kids _club,” she started explaining. Her voice was pleasantly kind and aloof at the same time, the very opposite of what she’d showed back at the dining room._

So they do teach them to conduct themselves in fancy royal fashion, _Vexx thought, but unlike before the thought had lost its biting tone._

_“And even if you eventually decide to rat me out to your superiors,” she continued, “this talk won’t change much. I have left the palace without my father’s permission or knowledge. That alone is a crime. So what If have also said a few silly things along the way. I will enjoy myself tonight without breaking my word to Nerissa and that’s the only thing I care about.”_

_So, no loyalty held for her royal old man, but all for Nerissa?_ Hm, that actually fits what I’ve heard in the barracks, _Vexx recalled. His fellow royal guards were much fonder of the heir to the throne rather than the king or queens, too._

_After a short pause, she added: “Incidentally, didn’t I tell you not to call me by that title? Not out here.” She gestured all around them...at the darkened and empty square. It was only the two of them, the gurgling fountain that was now three coins richer, and insects buzzing around lampposts._

_Quite a romantic scene actually. But this was no date. This was business._

_“You told me not to call you Your Highness,” Vexx replied, actually glad for the change of topic. He had no idea how to react._

_She wasn’t what he’d expected._

_And then the princess facade disappeared instantly and the woman in front of him gave him a nasty look, hands akimbo. “Serif!” she rolled her eyes and then sighed. “You know what, forget it,” she threw her hands in the air. “This is depressing. Almost like being back at the palace. I want to enjoy tonight as if it was my last day of freedom. Where can I go to feel alive around here?”_

_Vexx frowned for a moment and then shrugged. “Where everyone else goes. A bar. To have a drink or two, talk to patrons, maybe have a dance.” Upon seeing her expression, he lifted his eyebrows. “Have you ever been to a bar?”_

_”If you’re asking whether I have ever set foot in such an establishment, the answer is quite obviously no. If you wonder whether I can handle intoxicated people, the answer is: duh. Lead the way.”_

_He smirked. ”As you wish, princess.”_

_”What did I say?” she hissed as they started walking side by side down a street zigzagging deeper into the Gold district. She accompanied her words with a gentle nudge in the ribs. Which he deftly avoided._

_”Not to call you Your Highness,” he couldn’t help but reply. He also tried and failed to contain his smile._

_She gave him a pensive look. ”You are doing this on purpose,” she whispered._

_Vexx immediately shook his head. “Wouldn’t dream of it, princess.” But the truth was, yeah, he did it on purpose. Wait. He...did?_

_**He did!** _

_Why did he feel comfortable joking around her? She was as likely to take offence as she was to laugh or get angry. And that could end it all._

_He felt his shoulders stiffening as he gave her a careful – not fearful, definitely not fearful – sideways glance. Those last few hours, peaceful and surprisingly normal for a walk with a bloody royal, had appeased him and given him a false sense of safety and calm. As if this was a friend instead of a potential source of information._

_He half expected her to lash out at his latest provocation. Instead, she laughed and touched his arm briefly. The night was warm, but her touch was scorching even through the fabric of his uniform._

_“You know what? I don’t mind actually. It doesn’t sound like a title when you say it,” she said with a sweet happy smile on her lips._

Then what does it sound like?, _Vexx wondered, perplexed, but didn’t ask. It wasn’t important. What_ was _important, was the fact that his big mouth hadn’t destroyed his chances at discovering more hidden passages with the princess’s help. “So does this mean I get to accompany you the next time you would like some fresh air, princess?”_

_“Hmmmm,” she hummed as she tilted her head, smiling some more, “....mmmmaybe.”_

...

A smile formed on Vexx’s lips as he stirred gently. Yes, he really was happy for the first time in three weeks. Job well done. And more was to come.


	3. Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay...Zaeera,” he grinned. “So...now that we’re on the first name terms, can I have a personal question? I’ve been wondering something for a while now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a little longer (but it also is longer), but here is another update. Sorry for any typos or mistakes, feel free to point them out.
> 
> Enjoy and thank you for reading!

Vexx checked himself in the mirror for one last time. The dress uniform felt stiff and uncomfortably tight as he’d never donned it before, and he couldn’t resist shifting constantly. But it looked...well, not bad. It had brighter colours, since in this one guards were supposed to be admired and noticed as yet another decoration of the room. There was the royal insignia on his right sleeve, and thes emblem of the royal guard on his left one. Shoulder boards proudly showed his rank and an aiguillette added a finishing touch. 

Oh, and the slacks were pressed. Fancy that! 

Vexx made an unhappy face, then sighed and turned away. But he was happy at least one of his colleagues seemed to be just as uncomfortable wearing this attire as he was, fidgeting and squirming. 

“How I hate these events,” Jonas grumbled unhappily, working a finger under the collar of his jacket. “Feels like I will suffocate any minute.” 

“Just you wait. One minute in and all those pretty ladies and gentlemen will distract you from your suffocating,” Al’tir smirked from his corner of the room, doing up his jacket. Once done, he smiled at himself and turned to his roommates. “And you love these events. The food’s amazing,” he added, talking to Vexx now. 

“We get to eat?” Vexx asked, surprised. 

Jonas laughed. “Of course not. You must be sneaky so none of the royals or their posh guests notice. But it’s doable. Helps if you have friends with the servants who lay a little bit aside for you.” 

“Or you go to the kitchen once you’re relieved. They always have something for us. Bless their souls,” Al’tir added with a soft smile on his thin lips. 

“Leftovers,” Vexx concluded. 

Al’tir and Jonas exchanged a look. “Better than going hungry,” Jonas replied, shrugging. 

“And speaking of going,” Al’tir checked his watch, “we should get moving. We need to get to the armoury to get our weapons and then go to the ballroom. And we better get there before the commander does.” 

“Yeah, no kidding,” Vexx mumbled, already knowing enough about Elettra to be certain he didn’t want to be late. She was a model professional, a guardswoman through and through and expected as much from her subordinates. It was generally better to remain on her good side. 

The ballroom was seething with activity when the three of them arrived. Servants were busy making preparations, finishing decorations, moving furniture and laying the tables – still no food though to Jonas’ grief – and setting up stage for whatever band was going to be the live music part of the entertainment tonight. 

“How much does this fuss cost?” Vexx asked, looking around the room. The event was supposed to start with a feast and continue throughout the whole night. A lot of palace staff was involved, a lot of royal guards, a lot of food, decorating the room, the music... He was dizzy just listing all this, let alone thinking about the budget. 

And for what? Hosting some fancy family from wherever. 

“Just enjoy it and don’t think about such things,” Jonas waved his hand, looking around. 

Vexx couldn’t help but snarl. “Have you been to Bronze district?” 

Al’tir sighed. “That’s how it’s been for a long time. Let it go. You won’t change how things are and will only get yourself in trouble.” 

So that how things were. People were intimidated to stay silent. But that wouldn’t be the case for too long. Because Al’tir was wrong; Vexx could help change it. And he would. He just needed a little more... 

“Your royal Highness!” 

The first voice to shout had them all snap at attention involuntarily, until they noticed who it was who had just entered. 

“Good, that’s just Nerissa,” Jonas breathed out with relief. 

The heir number one walked into the room. She still wore ordinary clothes – well, quite fancy in Vexx’s book, but definitely not something fit for tonight – so he assumed she hadn’t yet tried to prepare for the event. 

“No, no, don’t stop on my account, please,” Nerissa said out loud. She didn’t quite shout, but her voice rang around the room nonetheless. She looked around, all but looking at each person at a time, before turning her attention to the room. “My, you’ve done an incredible job here. Thank you for all your hard work. I’m grateful you’re doing for us.” 

_Damn, she’s good,_ Vexx thought with a smirk, shifting his weight. He figured people didn’t hear much praise around here, so her coming out of her way to deliver the sweet words had to work miracles. He wondered whether it was a conscious effort on the princess’s part or honesty. 

Maybe a bit of both, he decided as he watched her making rounds, talking to people and pointing there and here and all over the place as she asked questions or whatever. 

Eventually she found her way to him as well and engaged in a pleasant small talk that had to be taught in their royal family as a compulsory subject. 

Which was probably closer to the truth than Vexx initially realized, since there was such a thing and it was rhetoric. 

But it wasn’t before she managed to scare both Jonas and Al’tir away that she seemed to finally get to the real topic she wanted to discuss. “Well, now I know you have your duties, but my sister’s still not here yet so there’s one thing I’d like to...make clear.” 

Vexx resisted lifting his eyebrows. “Anything, Your Highness,” he replied without thinking. 

Surprisingly, she didn’t seemed thrilled by his reaction. If anything, her smile grew a little bit tired and sad. “I don’t want to see my sister hurt.” 

Vexx hesitated. “It’s my duty to protect your family.” 

“Lieutenant,” she sighed. “Stop being one of the mindless drones. We have those in abundance. All of royal guards are here to protect my family, but what I want is something else. Zaeera has mentioned you a few times when we talked. An interesting feat in itself.” 

That, the entire speech but the last sentence especially, had him frowning. “I am afraid I don’t understand, Your Highness.” 

“Have you noticed her around the palace much?” she asked. She didn’t wait for his answer. “My sister keeps to herself. She’s been too often shown that she doesn’t have a significant place within my family. Those closest to her in age don’t share her interests, as you already know, and the eldest have little patience with someone on the imaginary bottom of our family hierarchy. She cares little for things other members of the court consider important. She doesn’t scheme. She doesn’t lie. She doesn’t belittle. She hates small talk. She hates pretending to be the perfect little princess everyone assumes she is. She can hardly look for company to our servants. Do you understand where I’m going with this?” she asked softly. 

Vexx held her eyes for a moment longer, before deciding not to be mindless drone. “I have no idea. From what I’ve seen she’s good with people. She can talk herself out of a number of situations, she can quickly adapt to circumstances she’s never faced before. She can be serious and she can let loose. She can be charming and she can put anyone into their place with a single look.” His smile turned sharper. “Kudos to her tutors. They made her an inhumanly versatile toy.”

“As much as I dislike your particular choice of words, you have very good observation skills,” she nodded her head once. “Then maybe you’ve also noticed this. She is very vulnerable and fragile, Lieutenant. I don’t want anything to happen to her. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Zaeera can take care of herself,” Vexx replied, almost offended for Zaeera’s sake, before his brain could kick in. His eyes widened and he sucked in a lungful of air when he realized how rude that sounded. 

“Oh, you would know, wouldn’t you,” Nerissa replied, giving him a small smile as if his defiance actually impressed her. 

“Your Highness?” 

The look she gave him next chilled him to the bones. “Come now. Even if I didn’t know of your escapades before, you’ve just given it way. For a guardsman who’s not assigned to her, you know a great deal.” 

“Good observation skills, Your Highness,” he replied simply. 

“Ah, yes, very good. I want you to stop. No more nightly adventures. No more silly trips. She is safe behind these walls. And that’s all that matters,” she ordered brusquely, holding his eye. 

Vexx opened his mouth to reply, heart beating in his chest as fast as a racehorse. “You can’t do that to her, Your Highness!” he blurted out before he could stop myself.

She lifted her eyebrows. “Is that so? I wonder why. Do humour me, _guardsman_.”

Swallowing heavily, Vexx nodded, holding his ground. “She lives for those nights. I’m sorry, Your Highness, but you did say before that I should speak my mind. In a way. If you make her stop, you’ll break her heart.”

Memories flashed in front of his eyes. Night after night of their secret escapes, Zaeera grew more and more alive. Curiosity shone from her eyes at almost everything. Sympathy and empathy made her still as she listened to her people complaining, holding back tears when they dragged her own name through the dirt for crimes she hadn’t committed. She laughed with them, she danced with them, she joined their fun and grief.

“Maybe you could accompany us one such night,” he suggested, more than certain she’d never do that. “Then you’d see for herself that she’s truly happy out there. She cares for her people. She wants to know them, to learn about them. Isn’t that what being a royalty should be about? And maybe if all of her family shared the interest, the system wouldn’t be in such a miserable state.”

She lifted her eyebrows, letting out a small surprised chuckle. “I applaud your courage, Lieutenant. And I apologize for my deception,” she said when he paused to take a breath. He wasn’t finished yet, and was already opening his mouth to speak when her words registered. She offered him a small smile and continued: “I would be the last person to steal something that makes her happy.”

Vexx frowned. “So...then why did you-?” He sighed when it dawned on him. “It was a test.” 

“Thank you for taking care of her. I am happy to know someone as fiery as you is making certain she’s safe out there. I wasn’t happy to learn about it at first, but now I’m glad you indulged her and continue to do so. I am grateful and...well...in your debt more than you’ll ever know.”

Vexx held her gaze, not knowing what else to do or what to say. 

“Enjoy your evening, Lieutenant,” she said softly, offering one last smile before walking away. 

It wasn’t long before Jonas appeared by his side again, wide-eyed and looking impressed. “Making friends at high places, are we?” he chuckled. 

“She approached me,” Vexx mumbled weakly, still struggling to wrap his head around the whole conversation. Was Nerissa worried someone out there would hurt Zaeera, or was she worried it would be him? Or both? 

Jonas made a face. “Of course she did. Have you seen yourself in the mirror?” 

“I have. Before we left,” Vexx replied, ignoring the implication altogether. 

“Oh come on,” Jonas rolled his eyes. “You know what I’m talking about. Just a couple of weeks in and you’ve already got admires.” 

Vexx snorted. “You think the future queen admires me.” He should have heard how she had just scolded and appraised him at the same time. Sure didn’t feel like she was admiring him.

“Well, someone obviously does. There has to be some explanation for your numerous and very late...or rather very early morning arrivals.” 

“What?” Vexx sputtered, snapping his head to a side to look at him so quickly, a sharp pain shot up and down his spine. With a wince, he covered the neck with his hand. 

“So who is it?” Jonas continued with a grin at his reaction. “What lovely lady managed to catch your fancy around here? Or is it some handsome lad? Plenty of both types around.” 

”You’re delusional,” Vexx sighed while working his shoulders and neck. His eyes glanced towards the entrance. Never before had he wished the Commander to march into the room so much as he did right now.

...

The evening was in full swing already before Vexx saw her for the first time. He’d already stopped believing she would show up. The prominent part of her family had already arrived and so when she finally entered, she did so unannounced and all but unnoticed.

Or maybe not exactly unnoticed. There was a thing about being late to a party. The double doors were wide open, but not many people coursed trough any more now that they were all here, and heads did swivel as she walked past. 

Walked? No. She glided. Her head held high, shoulders back, spine straight, her hips swaying with every step. The skirts of her flowing dress, layers and layers of transparent fabric of green and blue and purple, as light as the wings of a butterfly, moved with her, showing skin here and there through a slit that drew the eye. 

There were gemstones on the back of her hands, Vexx noticed. Tiny sparkling specks glued to her skin in patterns, twining around her wrists and up her forearms. They were at the outer edge of her eyes, fanning over her temple and disappearing among those dusting her hair that was plaited into dozens of small braids and thrown over her left shoulder. A tiara sat on top of her head. 

A single gem was in the middle of her lower lip, another right underneath, and another, and another, marking a path down her chin and Vexx found he had troubles tearing his eyes off. 

He’d noticed she was pretty yeah. But it hadn’t been this difficult to breathe before. Or swallow. Or...think. 

“Your Highness!” a voice to his left called and a woman crossed in front of him. She pattered to Zaeera and the two greeted each other with a kiss on each cheek. Vexx couldn’t hear what they said to each other, but his eyes were fixed on the sparkling gem on Zae’s lip as she spoke. 

“Eeeh, not a good idea,” Jonas whispered close to him. “That’s Arabella, princess Zaeera’s lady in waiting. She likes to toy with people so she’d be up for anything, but she’d get you in reaaaaaal trouble.” 

“Yeah. Trouble,” Vexx breathed out. His eyes followed the two young women when Arabella begun leading Zaeera into the room. They were met with a pair Vexx knew to belong with the guests. They had to be siblings, judging on the face features they shared, but while the woman looked bored, the young man’s face all lit up at the sight of Zaeera. 

Vexx found his lips curling in disgust. 

“Seriously, snap out of it,” Jonas insisted, jabbing him with an elbow. “People are noticing.” 

“He just bowed to her,” Vexx shook his head and frowned when she actually curtsied back. Just a little dip, almost no nodding of her head. He had no idea what it meant, but had seen her curtsy to her own father with much more deference, almost all the way down...so hopefully this one meant: “Nice to meet you too, but let’s remember who’s got the higher status here, okay?” 

He sure hoped so. And he knew Zaeera could put people to their place when she had the mind to it. 

Reluctantly forced himself to look away from her and focused back on his comrade. “Anyway, what’s the deal with them?” 

“Huh?” 

“Her Highness and that Arabella. They don’t seem to get along well.” 

“What are you talking about?” Jonas asked, confused. “They adore each other. They spend a lot of time together.” 

Curious. Vexx hadn’t seen her before. Zaeera hadn’t mentioned her before. And he’d recognized the expression Zaeera had put on when she spotted the other woman. It was the polite, kind and aloof thing that she wore as a mask to hide her own thoughts. 

The princess was surprisingly good at it. He’d seen it on those nightly adventures, when she interacted with others. Perfect control of her face, of her body language, the tone of her voice. Royal education? More like training. Spies were trained this way. Vexx had been trained this way, too. 

Not being able to help himself, he glanced towards the princess again and air got caught in his throat when their eyes met. She winked. 

Before he could even think of a reaction, she started talking to her companions, taking a step away from them and towards the front of the room where the king and the queens were. Arabella and the other woman let her go, but the man accompanied her. And then they were lost in the crowd. 

“But if you want more, I suggest talking to some of princess Celest’s retinue. They know everything. Even things that haven’t happened yet.” 

Yeah, Vexx knew of Celest. That one took after her mother with both her looks and her sweet, sweet personality. Vexx was certain he didn’t want to have anything to do with her. He didn’t need her. 

“Celest. She’s the pretty one, right?” he asked, pretending not being acquainted with the royal family that much. No one could know that Zovack kept tabs on each of them, albeit without pictures. 

“That’s an understatement,” Jonas laughed. “The only person more beautiful than her is her mother.” 

Vexx silently disagreed, but chose to say nothing. Jonas was usually happy to chatter for the both of them, so he let him and spaced out. The evening and night passed by in front of his eyes and he didn’t pay it much attention to his duties. He entertained himself watching the crowds. He caught a glimpse of Zaeera from time to time. Saw her dancing with a couple of people, twice with that guest of honour. 

Vexx wasn’t surprised to learn she was a good dancer. He’d hazarded a guess at her motoric abilities back that first night out. At the bar she’d danced. Not this elegant fancy thing with steps you had to follow and everything. She had moved to the rhythm, aligning with whatever partner humoured her – not Vexx, he’d refused – and had seemed to have the time of her life. 

This...not so much. Her face betrayed only the careful politeness. This was her job. This was her duty. She wasn’t here to have fun. 

He noticed her talking to her parents once. They stopped by her as they were on their way out. Fenris said a few things that made her smile and nod. Her mother caught her chin in her hands, examining her face from the left, then right, then touched one of the gems at her eye. Vexx couldn’t see the queen’s face, but Zaeera’s was blank.

Everyone seemed to heave a collective sigh when the royals left. As in the staff, the guards, the servants...nobles didn’t seem to care much. 

“Jonas, would you cover for me?” Vexx asked, his eyes trailing Zae’s movements as she slipped away from the crowd. 

“What?” 

“Would you cover for me? I’ll get lost for a minute. Tell them nature called, okay?” 

“Bring food?” Jonas asked. 

“No,” he replied with a smile and headed away, walking alongside the walls as he made his way to the balcony. Fresh air was indeed a good idea, he decided. 

Zaeera wasn’t alone there, but the balcony was large enough that it gave a semblance of privacy anyway. She was leaning against the banister, gazing up at the sky as she sighed heavily, her shoulders sagging for the briefest of moments. 

And she didn’t seem to hear him. He allowed himself a second more to admire her, before clearing his throat. “Don’t your feet hurt?” 

She startled, gasping as she spun around, a hand on her chest. A hand glistening with those gems. “Serif!” she scolded him breathlessly while he laughed. “Don’t you dare to that to me.” She turned back to the view as Vexx mimicked her posture, joining her at the banister. “No, they don’t. I’m used to it,” she added in much softer tone. 

“So where’s your boyfriend?” he asked, feeling cheeky, bold and mischievous. He shifted, moving a little closer. 

“No idea. No care. I needed fresh air. My head is spinning.” 

He chuckled at that. “Too much to drink?” 

She made a half-hearted sound of protest, but there was this unmistakable rosiness to her cheek. “Just two glasses. The room is stuffy.” 

“The room? More like you can’t handle your liquor, eh, princess?” Vexx laughed gently. 

“Shut it, Serif. You would want to drink yourself into oblivion if you had to smile and be charming for the same kind of buffoon I had all night. Only I can’t afford it.” 

That cut his laughter off. “Is he...behaving?” he asked carefully, growing solemn. 

“What? Oh, yes! Yeah! He is. He’s just...boring. Like my siblings. Grew up in this fancy bubble and knows very little about what’s outside.” 

“You didn’t either, not too long ago.” 

“I’ve been working on it these past few months,” she replied with a smile, looking at him from the corner of her eye. The gems framed it from that angle. “And I’ve got a great guide to help me break out of my cage.” 

“You call all this a cage?” Vexx pointed back inside the ballroom. 

“A golden cage is still a cage, Vexx. I don’t supposed people would understand. They’d say I’m spoiled. They _do_ say I’m spoiled without knowing a thing about me.” 

“You can’t take everything you hear outside at face value.” 

“I know. But it’s just like...they all know who I am better than me. They all know what suits me better I do. Hell, even this dress,” she pointed at herself. “Mother chose it. I’m not even allowed that much, because she knows better,” she rolled her eyes. “No one asks me. Who I am. What I want. Only you.” She turned to him, smiling before pushing herself away from the banister. “Only you ever asked. Even if it was which turn to take next. And when talking of asking...I’m sorry, I never asked your name.” 

“Serif,” Vexx shrugged. 

She sighed, smiled and tilted her head to one side. She had to know how cute that made her look. 

He smiled and relented. “Vexx.” 

“Vexx,” she echoed, her lips shaping around the word a second time as she mouthed it silently. And the gem, oh the gem on her lip. 

“So...if you call me Vexx, do I get to call you Zaeera?” 

She giggled. “Doesn’t matter what I say. You will forever call me princess even if I command you to use my name.” 

Vexx smiled. “Could be the case, princess.” As he paused, he realized the lack of whispered voices. He looked over his shoulder. They were left alone on the balcony, the door to the ballroom closed. “But would you want me to call you that? When I don’t feel like teasing,” he added with a smirk when he looked at her again. 

“I wouldn’t want you to stop teasing me. People usually take me too seriously or not at all, so it’s a nice...uhm...it’s nice,” she dropped her eyes to the floor in an adorably shy manner and Vexx noticed there were gems on her eyelashes as well. 

_Goddamned._

“But yeah,” she chimed, turning back to the view. She lifted her head and smiled at the black, dotted sky. “I think I would.” 

“Okay...Zaeera,” he grinned. “So...now that we’re on the first name terms, can I have a personal question? I’ve been wondering something for a while now.” 

“Can I choose not to answer if it’s too personal?” she gave him a sideways look. 

“Not that kind of question.” 

“Oh,” she laughed. “Okay. Go on.” 

“You might live in a cage, as you put it, but you have everything. What does a girl who has everything wish for?” 

“What do I wish for?” she gave him a surprised look, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

“Those weeks ago when we were out for the first time you threw your coin in the fountain with the kids. What did you wish for?” 

“It will never come true if I tell you,” she said slowly. 

Vexx lifted his eyebrows. “Don’t tell me you actually believe that.” 

She held his eye, her face serious all of a sudden. Then she slowly shook her head. “No. I’ve tossed a small fortune in the fountain at the courtyard and never got a single wish.” She paused, escaping his searching gaze as she looked up at the black dotted sky again. “I wished to be free. Out there. With nothing holding me back.” 

Her neck stiffened a little and she looked at him from the corner of her eye. “Call me pathetic if you want,” she said. “I know I have it all. And yet I don’t care. Maybe they are right. I am spoiled. I don’t know that it is to be hungry. To be sick and have no one to take care of me. I’ve received education. I’ve got pretty dresses. Lots of sparkling jewels. And yet I’d change it all for the chance to go there,” she said and pointed up. “And there. Or there, or whatever!” she laughed as she kept pointing at random stars. 

Vexx moved forward, covering her wrist with his own hand. Fingers curled around the gems on her skin as he moved her arm to point at a specific part of the sky. “I’d recommend we start there. Tilaarin. You won’t find more beautiful place.” 

She let her arm fall to her hips when he’d let go and she turned to him. As Vexx had leaned over to help her point, they’d got almost impossibly close. “We?” she asked softly. 

“Well, I can’t let you go on your own. You’d just toss all your money into fountains, and get lost the moment you’d leave the spaceport. As a royal guard it is my duty to help and protect you,” he said just as quietly. She smelled nice. 

“Don’t joke,” she shook her head as she took a step back from him. “Don’t joke about this. Vexx.” 

“I’m not joking. Let’s steal what’s not screwed to the floor and bolt,” he whispered, terrified at the small part of him that wanted to do just that. 

She laughed, her breath tickling his cheek. “The things you say. I can’t possibly run off.” 

He made the one step forward, all but closing the distance between. “Name one thing holding you back.” 

“Nerissa,” she whispered. Her eyes flickered left and right as she examined his face. 

“...would want you to be happy. Does want you to be happy, in fact. As do I. I don’t know you that long, just a couple of weeks, months, but I know that you are not enjoying yourself tonight. That you don’t enjoy being here. You don’t want to be here. The only time I saw you happy was when we were out there,” he pointed as well, but he aimed his arm down rather than up, gesturing towards the city spreading in the distance. “Out there where you didn’t have to pretend to be who you’re not to please people who don’t give a damn about you.” 

She held her breath as he spoke, unshed tears glistening in her eyes. She had gone impossibly still. “I’m scared,” she whimpered. 

“You’d be a fool not to,” Vexx nodded and tried to laugh for her sake. “The world out there can be brutal, but that’s why you’ll have me.” 

“Father would hunt me down.” 

“We’d both be hunted then,” Vexx replied, but somehow it wasn’t king Fenris he would be worried about most. “That’s part of the thrill. Part of being outside that bubble you talked about.” 

“I can’t ask that of you,” she shook her head. 

“Something with your ears, princess? I’m volunteering.” 

“Why would you?” 

Yeah, why indeed. “When we met I wanted to think you were just a stuck-up little brat who believed she was better than everyone else. That would definitely make things much easier. Sometimes I wish I had never agreed to go with you that day, because then things stopped being black and white and boundaries were blurred, differences put aside and...I care. And I know I shouldn’t. It won’t end well for either of us. But I do.” 

And that was the moment the dam broke. Vexx watched, terrified, as the tears brimmed over and she sobbed, hiding her mouth and nose behind her hand. She closed her eyes tightly, turning away from him, but he caught her shoulders. 

“Whoa-! What-? Why are you-? Did I say something wrong?” Was it that he had regretted going with her? 

She shook her head, turning her face away from him. 

“Then why are you crying?” 

She dropped her hand and gave him a desperate look, hiccupping as she tried and failed to bring her emotions under control. 

“I still don’t get it. Just talk to me!” 

Making a high-pitched sound, she moved forward suddenly. All at once, she was in his arms, her face buried in his shoulder and she clung to him as if her life depended on it. 

“Okay, you need a hug. But I still don’t get it,” Vexx repeated, hesitantly placing his hands at her waist before encircling it entirely to bring her even closer. Her body was pleasantly warm against his and he would almost enjoy himself if he wasn’t partially scared someone would see them. “You do realize that if anyone comes in here right now, they’d want my head? Not only I made you cry, but I’m also inappropriately close to you,” he mumbled. A part of him wanted to address the fear in him and the other part wanted to take her mind from whatever it was that made her so upset. 

And it worked. She chuckled breathily, her arms squeezing a little bit more in what Vexx understood as gratitude. “They most likely would,” she mumbled and he could hear the smile in her tone. “Thank you by the way,” she added when she calmed down, but still didn’t let him go. 

“What for?” 

She didn’t reply this time and gently pushed away from him. Her eyes were red when she turned from him and he let her this time. Even patted himself down for handkerchief and held it out for her. 

She nodded her _thank you_ as she reached for it. 

Vexx took a step back and moved closer to the banister. He pretended to watch the city to give her privacy and time to compose herself. 

“I’m sorry,” she chimed eventually, crumpling the handkerchief in her hands. She refused to meet his eye. “I’m just not used to-“ she broke off, shrugging. “It’s been a long night,” she said eventually. “But...it’s not over yet. How do I look?” 

Vexx blinked, giving her a confused look. 

“I need to go back, but no one can know about this. So...does it look like I’ve just...lost it?” 

He shook his head. “Not anymore.” 

“Then I should...” she pointed at the door behind him. She made a step forward, hesitated and looked back at him. “We’ll...talk later...Vexx?” 

He smiled, bobbing his head wordlessly. It seemed to be enough. She mimicked his expression tentatively before she grew serious again and continued on her way back to the ballroom. 


	4. If you were someone else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Pretty things? Something else to occupy you? Is that all we are to you?” he snarled.  
> “Vexx?” she whispered.  
> "Do you even understand that we have feelings, too?!”  
> She stopped breathing now. “I didn’t mean it like that...”  
> “No, of course not! It’s all so easy for you. You just waltz in and everyone and everything is immediately at your disposal and you don’t care how difficult you make it for people around you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

He walked slowly, eyes on the pavement beneath his feet. He paid little mind to his surroundings, walking automatically without actually thinking about it. Left foot. Right. Left. Right. Left... 

He was preoccupied with the heavy feeling in his stomach that made him drag his feet. He didn’t want to go to the palace again. He didn’t want to go back to Zovack either. Maybe there was still a way to back out of the whole deal. 

No. As soon as the idea crossed his mind, he rejected it. He knew it was already too late. He’d fallen too deep into it. There was no way he could abort and hope to live for much longer. And it wouldn’t solve anything. Someone else would take up his place and the plan would continue with only the slightest of delays. 

There was no stopping the revolution. Not now. Not ever, actually. There had been no stopping it ever since Zovack had made the decision. 

He lifted his eyes up to gaze at the horizon. The palace towers loomed up above the Gold district, beautiful and magnificent, mysterious and enigmatic and maybe a little eerie. It was breathtaking and painful to look at them. 

_Once upon a time, you thought it was a good idea. A good cause, worthy of getting your hands dirty,_ Vexx thought, a frown on his face. If this were a cartoon, there would be a dark, raining cloud above his head, deservedly drenching him to the bone. 

_It is still,_ he tried to reason with himself. _Just look around. This has to stop. People suffer and die for no reason but one man’s arrogance and indifference._ And it was the truth. He knew. He knew this better than most of people. 

But every coin has two sides, right. And every action – consequences. 

The minimum was to be the blood of fifteen people. Not a high price to pay. Fifteen people gone so that billions could live better. 

But that was before. 

Before. 

Vexx paused, face twisted into a pained grimace as he sat down on a fountain. Gurgling of water filled his world as he bent over and put his face in his hands, elbows propped against his knees. 

Before things got personal. 

His throat burnt and it was difficult to breathe. His head was spinning so he closed his eyes. His hands slid up his face and into his hair, gripping it tight, tighter, until it hurt. 

It was better. The pain. Something to focus on. Something other than his mind, his conscience, his...his... 

_“You’re doing a very good job.”_

...heart. 

With a growl, he unfurled. A fisted hand hit the surface behind with a splash that got drowned out by his angry, frustrated scream. People paused to look at him. And yet he didn’t care. 

Hand dripping, he ran it through his hair. Turning his head, he looked into the water. The coins at the bottom glistened in the afternoon sun. Old and new. Three of them belonged to her. 

_„I wished to be free.“_

“Free,” he whispered as he reached into the water. Fishing out one of the coins. “No one is truly free, Zae,” he said softly. The coin was cold and he let it slip out of his hand. It dived beneath the surface, leaving bubbles in its wake. “There are always things holding us back.” 

With a heavy sigh, he rose to his feet. Slowly, he turned towards the palace. Slowly. Slower. He didn’t want to go there. 

_“No need to hurry. We have time.”_

And at the same time it was the only place where he longed to be. 

Just how torn a person can be? 

Revolution. Escape. **Her**.

Taking the final step. Getting rid of it all. Having it all. 

Future. Oblivion. Everything. 

_„It doesn’t sound like a title when you say it.“_

Zae. 

His lips formed a smile despite himself. How come he noticed what she’d been doing only when it was too late already? 

He had thought himself so smart. Shrewd. Cunning. For months he’d been using the princess to get what he wanted.

_”Have you noticed her around the palace much?”_

Not at first. At first he hadn’t cared enough to notice. Now it was the first thing he did when entering a room. Seeking her out. Longing to catch her eye for even a split second. And maybe to have her wink at him just like she had at the ballroom. 

_“You should be as anonymous as you can, but don’t avoid people. It might be suspicious.”_

And the way his heart started to speed up whenever _she_ sought him out. It was easier for her to approach him than the other way around, and it usually always meant a trip outside the palace when all of her time was his and his only. 

_„She is very vulnerable and fragile…“_

Nerissa was wrong. With the two of them, it was Vexx who felt vulnerable. He understood Zaeera couldn’t afford to show that they knew each other, especially not the exact nature of their relationship, but it _hurt_ when she just walked past him without paying him any attention. 

The palace grounds opened before him as he waved his greetings at the guards at the entrance absent-mindedly. They knew him by sight by now and let him in without a problem. 

Complacency. Would cost them their lives eventually. So...seventeen? 

Then there was the second gate and soon the first courtyard spread in front of him. The biggest, always full of sun. Guards often trained there. 

And the worst thing was...the more time went by, the less he cared about his assignment. The longer he knew her, the more he wanted to spend time with her for her. 

_“And I know I shouldn’t. It won’t end well for either of us.“_

Back when he’d agreed to do the job, he’d known it could be dangerous. 

_“Once inside you will always be on your own.“_

He had known that it could cost him his life should he make a mistake. And he had made a mistake. And it had cost him. 

Vexx paused when he noticed the gazebo. He’d ignored the voices carrying across the courtyard. Just a group of young fancy ladies killing time in their fairy tales lives. But among the pack of panthers, she sat as well. Resting on a side sofa, a tablet in her hand. Reading. 

Would she feel his gaze if he stared long enough? 

Probably not. But people would notice. And Vexx wasn’t that much of a fool. 

Too late. 

One of the ladies had noticed him and seemed to be calling at him. It took a moment for her words to register and Vexx’s shoulders tensed when he realized she wanted him to approach them. 

_“That’s Arabella, princess Zaeera’s lady in waiting. She likes to toy with people so she’d be up for anything, but she’d get you in reaaaaaal trouble.”_

He made certain his face was unreadable as he straightened his uniform and indeed obeyed the noble lady. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her and not flicker towards the princess who still didn’t seem to notice him. 

Or maybe simply ignored his presence. 

Did it hurt her just as much? 

“I was right. It’s him!” Arabella beamed at him when he paused in what he hoped to be a respectful distance and bowed to her. And hoped the disgusted grimace left his face before he straightened again. “That’s the one princess Celest was talking about!” she turned to the pack of her friends. 

_“The dossiers. The royal family. The nobles. Some of the servants. Make certain to remember them.“_

“My lady?” Vexx asked, unsure what to make of this. He glanced at Zaeera who seem to be immersed into her book. 

Wrong of him to assume that also meant she wasn’t paying attention. It was her who spoke up just as the flock of chickens started their clucking again. “Bella,” she drawled, raising her eyes from the lines. “You are being incredibly rude and disrespectful,” she chided the woman softly. 

And Vexx noticed how immediately after she had started speaking, all the other ladies fell silent so that the princess could be heard. 

“First of all, my sister is not getting her own personal guard and especially not the one she asks for. Father knows better.” Pausing, she turned off the tablet in her hand and laid it gently on the sofa next to her. “Second, I know what transpired between Lieutenant Seriff here and Nerissa. I dare to say I do so even better than Celest. Third, I am certain the Lieutenant has better things to do than having you summon him here for no other reason but idle gossip. Last, but not least, we should strive to be the apex of grace, good education and behaviour so that we could serve and help our subjects, not rule over them. I am grateful that you’ve demonstrated how not to do it.” 

In a smooth motion, she sat up, dropping her feet off the sofa. She slid into the court shoes waiting for her on the ground and rose to feet fluidly while the lady in waiting curtsied deeply. Too deeply, Vexx noticed. An apology perhaps? 

Zaeera took time getting her tablet and Arabella didn’t move from her submissive position until after the princess stopped right in front of her. With a gesture, Zaeera allowed her to stand up straight again. Then she leaned even closer and spoke so quietly that Vexx, if he were standing a few steps further from them wouldn’t hear it. 

“I am aware scolding you out here in front of the audience is humiliating and I have only done so to show you how the Lieutenant must feel, being the object of your and their,” she waved her hand to the flock behind her, “toxic attention. I did not enjoy it and I would appreciate if you didn’t force my hand ever again,” she added with a deep scowl. 

“I didn’t realize I’d upset you so much, Your Highness,” Arabella replied just as softly. 

“Of course you didn’t,” Zaeera all but hissed, then turned to Vexx and clutched her book to her stomach. “Would it be too bold of me to ask you to accompany to me on my way back?” 

Vexx hesitated and while he did manage to reply that it would be his honour, she registered the short moment. 

“You walk two steps behind me, to my right since you’re right handed,” she instructed him and then headed away at a leisurely pace, her heels clicking in the awkward silence she left behind. 

They crossed the courtyard like this and walked into the entrance hall. She paused there, running a hand through her hair. “I am sorry, Vexx. People noticed Nerissa spent a lot of time talking to you before the ball and...” she trailed off and shrugged. “Well, it got my sister’s attention who decided she definitely needed someone like you in her retinue.” She rolled her eyes when she finished. 

“Someone like me?” Vexx echoed. 

She opened her mouth to speak, faltered and closed her mouth again. She smiled widely. “Well, you know...” she waved her hand at him. “A redhead.” 

Vexx lifted his eyebrows. “She likes my hair.” It was supposed to be joke, but somehow he didn’t quite make it sound that way. There was something bitter and revolting at the back of his throat, reminder of the dark mood he’d been in all day. 

She gave a half-shrug, spinning away from him. “Among other things,” she mumbled dismissively. “Let’s move, I need to change yet before Sorenn comes.” 

Without her having to say anything, Vexx caught up with her. “What’s with him?” 

She gave him a sly smile. “He’s getting engaged soon,” she whispered. “And he’s worried about his dance steps so he asked me to help him remember. But don’t tell anyone. People don’t know yet,” she added and placed a finger in front of her lips. He still remembered how the gemstone had looked on them. And hated himself for remembering so vividly. 

“Sorenn,” Vexx drawled. “That’s the officer from the Orsana’s guard, right?” 

“Yes. He’s...not that bad,” she smiled slightly. “I was happy when he asked for my help actually.” 

“A good thing,” Vexx replied lazily. 

She gave him a curious look. 

“I’ve seen you dance,” he added. “You seem to know what you’re doing.” 

Her smile turned a little thinner at that. “Well, I had adamant tutors,” she replied crisply. “That’s what the youngest heir is for. Looking pretty.” 

“I never said anything of the sort, Zae,” Vexx protested. 

She sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. I guess I’m a little bitter about my position in my family.” 

The paused briefly, walking past a couple of guards. Zaeera either didn’t notice or ignored them, but Vexx rolled his eyes at the surprised looks of his colleagues. 

They turned a corner and disappeared from their sight. 

“What is your family like?” she asked softly. 

“Nothing like yours,” he said carefully. “Definitely not as rich.” 

“Were you close?” 

Vexx shrugged. Maybe if they had been closer, he wouldn’t have ended up in such a mess. Or he would have landed in an even bigger one. Who knew. “I don’t know?” 

She gave him a glowering look. “How can you not know?” 

“Depended on the day. No routine with my folks.” 

“You don’t want to talk about them,” she concluded. “You could have just said so. I didn’t mean to pry.” 

But that was the point. She could pry and he’d be obliged to reply, because she was the bloody royal whose path was soon to end in blood. “It’s okay, princess.” It came out as a hiss. 

There was no stopping the bloodshed. No way to save her. She’d be dead and only Zovack knew how much time she got left. And it was Vexx’s fault too. 

She paused, catching his elbow to stop him as well. “Vexx, are you all right?” 

He halted obediently, but didn’t move to meet her eye. He felt her tugging at his arm gently, the way she squeezed mildly, asking without words. “Yes.” 

She’d be dead soon. 

She let go of him. It felt cold where her hand had been. 

“Are you certain? Can I help you?” 

_Can you stay alive? Can you go back and be born to someone else? Can you un-meet me? Can I stop lo-_

“Was it the scene outside?” she continued when he didn’t reply. She walked around him to look him in the face. “Just ignore them. They don’t know better. And it was you being handsome that drew Celest’s attention in the first place, you know? Then she heard that Nerissa talked to you which piqued her twisted curiosity and things suddenly blew out of proportions, but they’ll have something else to occupy them tomorrow. Don’t worry about it.” 

Vexx scoffed. “Someone like me, huh?” 

She had the decency to look apologetic. “She likes pretty things,” Zaeera shrugged. 

The tablet thudded against the floor with sound as loud as thunder. 

Zaeera gasped and yelped when he grabbed both her arms and pushed her back in an uncharacteristically rough manner. Heavy cloth of drapery that lined the corridors surrounded them, tangled them in, hid them from view. 

Her eyes went wide, her mouth shaped around her soundless gasp. Her body went rigid against his and she didn’t dare to move. 

“Pretty things? Something else to occupy you? Is that all we are to you?” he snarled. 

“Vexx?” she whispered. 

“Do you even understand that we have feelings, too?!” 

She stopped breathing now. “I didn’t mean it like that...” 

“No, of course not! It’s all so easy for you. You just waltz in and everyone and everything is immediately at your disposal and you don’t care how difficult you make it for people around you!” 

Her mouth, still half-opened, was all he could see. “I had my orders,” he hissed, leaning closer so that she would hear him. “Simple and clear. I had my purpose. I knew what I had to do, but you...you!” With a huff of air that could mean anything, he bowed his head, touching his forehead to hers as he closed his eyes. “This is not a game, Zae. It will hurt at the end, don’t you get it? And this is the reason why! Because you think you’re so better than us! Because you-” his voice broke off and maybe it was better that way. 

A soft touch, softer, just a tentative brush of her fingers across his cheek. Her hand was trembling. 

He whimpered and moved into her touch, face scrunched up and he was too afraid to name the emotion coursing through him. 

“Is this how I make you feel?” she whispered. Her breath tickled his face. 

He pulled back a little and met her eye. There were tears ready to brim over in them and the sight broke something inside of him. He shook his head, knowing this was a mistake, a mistake, a mistake, but couldn’t stop it if he wanted. 

She’d be dead soon. 

“This is how you make me feel.” His hands let go of her arms as he made a step forward, pressing her up against the wall. 

It was wrong. He should have asked rather than demand. But what if she ran? Selfish. **Selfish**! And he didn’t give a damn. 

He cupped her face, tilting her face up. She was so short. 

She didn’t fight him at all. She went still as their lips met, afraid or shocked, surprised? Her hands grasped his shoulders, curled in the fabric tightly. And finally kissed him back. 

The corridor fell away. Time seemed to stop. World ceased to exist. 

She arched into him, a pleased sound at the back of her throat. Her fingers slid up his neck, she touched his gills gingerly. 

Encouraged by her response, he curled his arms around her waist, pressing her close, close and closer. Her mouth was hot and eager and she was the one who started with tongue and that drove him _insane_.

He felt her warmth through her light dress. His hands explored her back, her waist, her ribs, her neck. Got lost in her hair, tilting her head back even more. Her bare arms, the skin hot and scorching beneath his fingers. 

She mirrored his caresses, consciously or not, lost in the moment. Lost in him. In him. His. 

His. 

Was she? 

Was this her first time? Was she allowed paramours? She seemed to know what she was doing. Or was just good at following his lead? 

He pulled away, gasping for breath. She moved to follow before she opened her eyes, the blue darkened with desire, and she fell back against the wall behind her. He let her, made a step back, missing her warmth already. His heart racing, his mind blank, all he could see was her flushed face, her dark eyes, her swollen lips. 

Breathless, panting, holding his eye. She looked surprised. She mouthed his name. 

Her hand moved. To catch him and bring him close. To push him away. 

He stepped back again and it hurt. She looked scared all at once. And lonely. Or was it him? 

He looked away, on the floor. The tablet lay there. He quickly picked it up. Such a tiny shield. It wouldn't work. So he reached out to give it back. 

_Say something_ , he begged her inwardly. 

She took the tablet hesitantly. Still wordless. Still scared. 

There was distance between them and he hated it. “If you were someone else,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse. 

Did she feel it too? The way his stomach felt funny? How warmth pooled inside of him? How he ached to have her in his arms again. 

“Why?” she asked. 

He huffed a breath. “Princess...” 

“But-“

Faster than a lightning, he closed the distance again. Keeping his hands by his sides firmly, he kissed her again. Only their lips touched. And then he was gone again. “I changed my mind. Don’t say anything,” he whispered, touching a finger to her lips. 

_“I don’t want to see my sister hurt.”_

She didn’t. And he ran. Like a coward. Like the traitor he was. Ran from her and that kiss. Like he had anywhere left to hide. 

_„Let’s steal what’s not screwed to the floor and bolt.“_


	5. Secrets and lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You do realize that it can never be anything more, do you. Stolen moments and forbidden kisses in the dark. Secrets and lies and nothing more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter this time. I wanted to add more, but didn't seem to fit with the rest. So to be continued and thank you for reading.

There was the click of a door and quiet footfalls getting nearer. She refused to roll over, sulking, maybe, but she didn’t feel like doing anything else. She just wanted one day when she didn’t have to pretend anything. She just wasn’t in the right mood for smiles and small talk and holding her chin up. 

She wouldn’t go as far as to say she felt miserable, but she came pretty close. And so she was unhappy about whoever had decided to disturb her. Again. “I told you to leave me alone,” she called as she hugged a pillow closer to her body and buried her face in it. 

“Not really,” a female voice replied with a smile. “But it doesn’t happen often you scare all your servants away so I thought to drop a visit,” the woman added and moved a chair to the bed. She sat down on it, all proper and queen-to-be-like, crossing her legs at ankles, her hands folded in her lap. 

Zaeera gave her position a tired look. “How can you be like that even here, Neri? Don’t you feel like bursting from all that royal nonsense?” 

The elder Peg’asi tilted her head to one side. “All the royal nonsense, as you put it, has been my life for much longer than it’s been yours. One day I’m going to sit on the throne and all eyes of our people will fall upon me. How I look is the first thing hey will see and judge. As shallow as it, it is important part of our lives.” 

“And that’s why I wanted to be left alone, because I haven’t the mood to pretend to be the eleventh princess,” Zaeera replied with a frown. “Don’t you ever want to be just you?” she added next, pleading. She didn’t want to be the only one who felt like this. 

Nerissa bit her lip as she thought. “Well, I think this is me now actually. Sure it’s busy and hectic and demanding, but in the end – it’s worth it.” 

“How can you say that? Whatever you want, father says no.” 

She looked away from her sister briefly. “He’s not going to be around forever,” she said very softly. There was something unnerving about the way her face lost all of its expression. 

“Doesn’t seem that way now,” Zaeera replied slowly. 

Nerissa narrowed her eyes at her, then slid from the chair and sat at the floor beside the bed. She placed her hand on the mattress and rested her chin on top of them. “So gloomy. And yet you have the highest chance of outliving our father, you being the youngest of us. But dark jokes aside. What’s weighting you down?” 

Zae sighed deeply, turning to lie on her back. She stared at the canopy above her. “I just...I wish I were someone else.” 

“Hmmm? Someone in particular?” 

“Not really,” she shook her head. “Just...not me.”

“Scoot over,” Nerissa said after a short pause. She rose to her feet briefly and then lied down next to her younger sibling when Zae made space. She took Zae’s hand in both hers. “Talk to me, sweetie.” 

Zaeera replied with another sigh and did her best to avoid meeting her sister’s eye. “It’s stupid. It will pass. I know it. I just...feel moody today.” 

“It’s not stupid. You don’t usually skip our chirpy family breakfasts. Nor do you usually treat your servants so harshly they go straight to me. You might not like them, but they are worried. And so am I. So what is it?” 

“Like I said, Neri. I wish I could run away from all this. That I could be who I want to be. Be with whom I want to be. And that I wouldn’t need to care for things like if I’m behaving all prim and proper, or looking the part or if my tiara sits straight or sliding sideways...” she trailed off. 

Nerissa turned her head to look at her sister. “Zae. I want to help you. But you need to tell me what’s wrong first. I can’t read minds.” 

“It’s...Vexx,” Zae admitted shyly. “Couple of weeks ago, I told him about how I wanted to travel. He’s taken me to the observatory. He’s been telling me about the worlds out there, the good and the bad. We promised we’d go out there one day.” 

“Vexx is...the Lieutenant,” Nerissa concluded. 

“I know it’s silly,” Zae continued. “It’s always been just a dream. I knew it from the very start. My own royal castle in the air,” I added with a small chuckle. “But I liked planning our trips as if we would truly set out tomorrow, and I liked exploring the district with him, forgetting who I was for the evening.” 

“So why are you sulking in your bed?” 

She felt her smile froze on her lips. “It's...complicated. We’ve...been kind of avoiding each other lately. I miss him, I guess. He used to be here, like he knew where I’d be and even if it was just a second when our eyes met, it was enough. Suddenly, he’s nowhere to be found and I’m both relieved and sad. It’s such a mess,” she rasped out unhappily. 

“Oh?” Nerissa peeped and turned on her side, propping her head on her hand. For some reason, she was beaming. 

Zae gave her an incredulous look. “Hey! I’m really trying to tell you what’s bothering me and you’re smiling like that?” 

“Zae,” Nerissa purred, let go of Zaeera’s hand to touch the tip of her nose as if she was still a five-year-old. She had been so cute when she was a little girl, all pouting and frowning. 

Zaeera frowned at her and pulled away from the touch, reminding Nerissa of the young gilr she was just remembering. 

But that was enough teasing, Nerissa decided and grew serious as she withdrew her hand. She sighed. “I shouldn’t approve. And I so feel obliged to say that I don’t. But seeing you so happy these past few months was...well, it makes me wish you had the freedom you want to have, little sister. I really do.” 

There was a small pause when they just looked at each other. Voices of people outside the palace reached them through the open balcony door. Sun was already high up at the sky, brightening the room and filling it with its warmth as the two women just lay side by side. 

“You said you avoid each other,” Nerissa whispered. “Did you, by chance, realize how you feel and decided it was best not to go down that path?” 

Zaeera wanted to snort and turn away, as undignified as it was. She wanted to deny. She wanted to scream her outrage at such ridiculous notion. She wanted to tell her Nerissa that for all her years and regal wisdom she was totally dead wrong here. 

And yet she knew why she couldn’t stop thinking about him. “Kind of?” she mumbled, feeling both embarrassed and encouraged by Nerissa’s acceptance. “I said a few things, he got mad at how pompous we all are and when I asked him if he really thought about me that way, that I was like the rest of my family, he...uhm...” She trailed off, biting het lip as if that could stop the smile from spreading. She felt her cheeks flush at the memory and her chest felt tight all of a sudden. And then the warm feeling his kiss had left behind turned ice-cold, butterflies in her stomach died and turned to lead. 

Wordlessly, Nerissa pulled her close, allowing her to hide her face in the crook of her neck when tears started to well up. “You do realize,” she whispered into Zae’s hair, “that it can never be anything more, do you. Stolen moments and forbidden kisses in the dark. Secrets and lies and nothing more.” 

Zaeera nodded, already choking up, and so she didn’t trust her voice to speak at all. 

Nerissa squeezed tighter and just held her and let her cry. And it was the best thing she could do. Nothing she could say would help. Because she was right and Zae knew it. 

The two of them would never be. No matter how much Zae would want it. No matter how much Vexx might want it. 

“I shouldn’t encourage you, so I’ll deny ever saying anything of the sort,” Nerissa whispered after a very long moment. Zae had quieted down and was slowly drifting to sleep in her arms. “But you shouldn’t avoid each other. Even if you can’t be more, you can still find happiness in each other’s company. And if you’re very, very careful, you might sneak in a kiss or two. I want you to be happy. Even if it’s just for a little while.” 


	6. Better days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zaeera shrugged. “Well, you mentioned you were from around here. So when I learned you had a day off, I was hoping to find you here."  
> Shaking his head, Vexx scoffed. “Why would you something so stupid? There was a reason I never took you anywhere else but gold district. Things can get really tough around here.”  
> “I missed you. And were too afraid to try approach you in the palace.”  
> Vexx sighed deeply and squeezed her hand briefly. “So you thought it was a good idea to approach complete strangers and ask for help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

It was stupid. It was reckless. It was dangerous. Also predictable and Vexx had no idea why he’d felt surprised at first. Of course she wouldn’t give up just because he’d stopped going out with here. 

_Even though she broke her word to her sister, the one she was so adamant about earlier,_ he thought with a frown. _I seem to be a bad influence. Still, does she have a death wish?_

This was no place for a princess, no matter how seasoned she fancied herself to be. 

Maybe she was just lost. She didn’t seem very confident as she crossed the streets of the district either way. If so she was even more reckless, beause she didn’t seem to have the necessary level of alertness that came hand in hand with fear. 

And she stuck out like a sore thumb, too. Although not reaching her usual level of snobbery, her clothes were obviously expensive and a single article could feed a family for a whole month. People of Bronze district had an eye for such things. 

From time to time she seemed to check the horizon. Maybe she searched for the towers of her palace? Well, she seemed to be looking for something. She often paused to ask people she met who gave her either a scared, incredulous or way too pleased look for Vexx’s liking. 

She didn’t seem to be aware he was tailing her. Another mistake on her part. Did she really feel safe here? This was Vexx’s home and even he knew better than to be so careless around here. 

There was a small part of him that kind of enjoyed this twisted hunt and wanted to keep at it just to see how far she was willing to go in whatever it was she was doing here. Was she searching for a new caffee? The thought made him snort derisively and admonish himself at the same time. He knew better. She wasn’t like that. She wasn’t like the rest of her family. 

And that was the reason the larger part of him decided it was enough and quickened his pace to catch up with her. Unfortunately he took a minute of pondering too long. 

The next person she’d paused to talk to were a couple of thugs belonging to the local drug circle. Zovack had warned Vexx to keep his distance for a reason. He knew the two groups cooperated, but the relationship between them was lukewarm at best. 

“...we know where you can find him.” 

“You do? Oh, great! Can you point the way?” 

“Or we could take you there? We wouldn’t want you to get lost.” 

“Like you’d ever have anyone’s wellbeing on mind but yours,” Vexx cut through the conversation and slapped away the hand reaching for Zae’s arm. 

Zaeera turned to him with wide eyes and gasped: “Vexx! I was looking for you all over the place!” at the same time as the one at the front cradled his hand and growled: “Did you just try to break my hand?” 

Of course the oaf would exagerrate. “No, I was just trying to save you a bit of time. She was looking for me and here I am, no need for you to bother. See you never, guys,” he said as he placed a hand on Zae’s elbow, making her turn away, and begun leading her down a small alley. 

She tried to speak, but he shushed her whenever she as much as opened her mouth. They zigzagged the streets, turning at random seemingly, crossing small and dirty alleys, walking in circles for all she knew, and a while later they finally stopped in front of a door. “In and up,” Vexx ordered, looking around as he pushed her inside almost forcefully. He caught up with her on the stairs and soon they paused at a threshold. 

Vexx walked in first, checked the room behind and disappeared deeper into the flat before coming back and beckoning her in. She closed the door as Vexx headed to a window to look at the street. 

“What’s going on?” she peeped, hesitantly, as she stood in a middle of the room. “Where are we?” 

“I shouldn’t have touched him,” Vexx muttered under his breath, running a hand through his unruly hair. _He shouldn’t have tried to touch Zae,_ a part of himself opposed. The former part liked the sound of that, because Zaeera was his after all. 

With a sigh, he turned away from the window. “What were you doing out there? This is no Gold district,” he hissed, crossing the distance between them. “Something could have happened to you. Why do you think I never took you here?” 

To her credit, she didn’t back a step. She mirrored his scowl and jutted her chin out in a silent challenge. It looked funny and cute on someone a head shorter than him. “I was looking for you,” she said in a firm voice. 

“Figured that one out already” Vexx growled. “Why would you do that?” 

“Well, you’ve been avoiding me. And since it would be stupid to openly ask about you in the palace, I remembered you mentioned you were from around here so I went to find you,” she explained and then her features softened, the defiance draining from her eyes. “But people somehow didn’t know you. Or didn’t want to talk about you.” 

“Can you blame them? I work in the palace. And I live here. People are intimidated and afraid I might inform on them,” Vexx said carefully. 

Taking a step back, Vexx sighed. “And I wasn’t...avoiding you.” A lame lie. He knew it. She had to as well. 

Maybe it was her princess training, maybe her sympathy and empathy, but she gave him a soft smile, laying a gentle hand on his arm. “Vexx, there’s no need for this. If it makes you uncomfortable, if it complicates things, we can just forget. Go back to where we were before.” 

And her naivety. Definitely. Vexx laughed bitterly. “You can’t mean that. You can’t just ignore life and go back to the last state that suited you, because the present is inconvenient for you, princess. Life isn’t a game. You can’t save and load if you pick an unfortunate choice.” 

“I didn’t mind the choice,” she said, loud and clear, meeting his eyes bravely. “But you seem to do. I don’t want it to make you uncomfortable.” 

Naive and royal. That’s what she was. And it was the royal part that was the problem. 

Vexx wanted to grab her arms and start shaking her until she’d grow some sense. It was impossible. He was there to make sure her family got _killed_! Her family and her, too. Zovack wouldn’t spare her. She was Peg’asi. She was and would forever remain a threat if she was alive. 

Vexx heard himself chuckle despite himself. “You should have said yes when I suggested running away.” 

“Running away from problems isn’t going to solve them.” 

“This time it would,” he whispered and then looked away as he gestured around the room. “Make yourself comfortable. We should stay here until dark before attempting to return. The guy we met before is not exactly my friend.” 

“Where are we?” She accepted the change of topic without a word of protest although Vexx did catch her disappointed expression. 

“My place,” Vexx replied curtly, heading back to the window. And froze as his eyes scanned the street. He swore under his breath. 

“Your place?” Zaeera asked, whirling around to take it in. She missed his stiffened reaction. 

The room was small, with only a small couch and a coffee table. There were couple of books on it. In the corner, there was a small, humble kitchenette. “You live here?” she asked softly. 

“Well, not everyone gets to live in a palace,” he commented as he watched her looking around. 

Her eye fixed on the one door leading deeper into the flat, hiding his bedroom. For a moment Vexx wagered inwardly whether or not she’d go in there. She didn’t. She didn’t move from her spot actually. 

“Sit down,” Vexx said softly, walking away from the window and whatever he’d seen out there. He had half a mind to drag her to the bedroom and lock her in it, but that might complicate things if she was discovered. So it was better to hide her in plain sight. “And whatever I say, just play along.” 

“What?” she frowned at him. 

“Just sit down,” he ordered and hurried to bring her only a half-full glass of water. She took it, opening her mouth to speak when there was a knock on the door. 

Vexx moved to answer it, opening it wide with a confident grin on his lip. “I knew it would be you,” he said and took a few steps back so that the visitor could come in. "Jereth talked and Ragna complained, I guess?

A dark-skinned man walked in, tall and lean, with a dangerous gleam in his eyes that belied the warm smile on his lips. He paused when he noticed Zaeera who just smiled at him and sipped her water. She didn’t wince when it tasted foul and swallowed, resisting shuddering. 

_It’s okay, it’s like when you talk to your siblings,_ she thought as she calmly put the glass on the coffee table in front of her. 

The man kept his gaze on her, but spoke to Vexx. “Just made it back and you’re already causing troubles.” 

“Me? Was midning my own business just fine. Until Ragna’s boys decided to bother my friend here,” he pointed his hand at Zaeera. “This is Chloe.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Zaeera smiled charmingly, rising to her feet. She walked to meet the man and offered her hand. 

He looked it, but didn’t take it. He clasped his own hands behind his back, straightening. “Saving damsels in distress, Vexx? That’s not you at all. You should be careful, Chloe. He’s got ulterior motives.” 

Zaeera gave Vexx a sharp smile, looking at him from beneath her eyelashes. “Oh, I know. He better.” 

“I like her,” the visitor said, giving his first genuine smile. But only for a moment. “I’m not happy I needed to come over.” 

“I’m not happy you needed to come over either,” Vexx replied with another grin. 

“I made certain Ragna forgave whatever you did to one of hers. Next time you will have to save your own neck. Or make sure they feel too ashamed to spread any words.” 

“I didn’t want to drag the lady into a fistfight,” Vexx gestured to Chloe who still watched him, her gaze scorching. It made his heat skip a beat. 

Damn, she was good. Kudos to her tutors indeed! 

“And miss an opportunity to show off? You’re losing your touch.” 

“He was afraid he’d lose,” Zaeera joined in the conversation, tearing her eyes off Vexx to look at their new companion. 

“Chloe, you’re wounding me,” Vexx faked a pained wince and placed a hand over his heart. 

“No, _they_ would have wounded you. And I wouldn’t bother hauling your ass to the closest doctor, oh no. And you knew that. Hence the retreat.” 

Vexx couldn’t help but grin at her even more. 

The newcomer chuckled. “I really do like her. I haven’t seen you around yet,” he added, giving Chloe a searching look. 

Inside, Vexx panicked. 

“Funny. I could say the same thing about you,” she replied sweetly. “Neither has Vexx ever mentioned knowing someone so...” she paused, letting her eyes roam over him, “handsome. Really, Vexx,” she turned to him, her voice growing almost reproachful. 

“What can I say? You’re mine.” 

She met his gaze quickly, her eyes widening. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it, you two. Just be careful next time, Vexx. And keep your eyes on the prize. No distractions.” There was no missing the way he looked at Zae when he said it. And then without saying anything else, the stranger left as quickly as he'd come and only after his steps stopped echoing down the corridor Vexx let out a relieved sigh. 

Zaeera frowned at him. “Who was that?” 

“Someone who doesn’t need to know who you are. This place is not safe for you. Let me take you to the palace.” 

“But you said-“

“I know. But it’s safe to leave now. He took care of it.” He approached her to take her arm again to lead her outside, but she slipped out of his reach. 

“Before we go back, can we talk about why we’re here?” 

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m here, because I live here. You’re here, because you’re bored and nosy.” 

“I’m here because I care, Vexx. I don’t want to lose you. You’re my friend,” she said softly, reaching out to touch his face. She expected him to move away from her and was surprised when he not only met her touch, but also covered her hand with his briefly. “Probably the only friend. The entire system might envy me my life, but I hate it. All those people around me, and yet none of them see me for who I am. Until you. And that means a lot. That means everything,” she rasped out. 

Vexx didn’t reply right away. Almost as if he waited for her to start laughing in his face. But she didn’t. She meant it. And that meant he was...in trouble. “You should be more stingy with your affection, Zae. And careful. Way more careful.”

“Tell me you don’t want it and I’ll stop,” she whispered, holding his eye. 

Once again it took him a moment before he replied, but it was a moment of fierce battle and warring inside of him. The logical part of him screamed to take the offered way out of the whole mess. The other part wanted to close the distance between them so badly. And then there was another part, the cynical one. And it said that it wouldn’t matter either way, because they couldn’t be more than they already were. And finally the reisgned part suggested going for it, because she’d be dead soon either way, so why not enjoy himself while he was at it? Just to see her smile. 

Yeah. She’d be dead soon. That was one way to cut loose ends. So why not enjoy it? 

“I want to,” he rasped out. “You have no idea how much. Things would be easier. But I can’t.”

She nodded. “I know what you mean. Our situation...I know that...that whatever this is, I can’t afford to let it go any further.” 

“Neither can I.” 

“But I want you in my life. I want to run through streets of this city with my hand in yours again. I want to laugh at your jokes and hide before guards see us. And I’ll be the happiest person in the system. I’ve never wanted anything more than to just be with you any way I can.” 

Vexx smiled sadly. She didn’t know that the man who’d just left, the one she’d flirted with so casually, would soon have the blood of her entire family and her own on his hands. She didn’t know it would only be thanks to Vexx and to the way he’d been leading her on all along. 

There was no way to back out of this task, he knew. He’d accepted it. Begrudgingly. He’d been ready to cut off all ties with her, finish his job and leave. Begrudgingly. 

Now this got even more complicated. Zovack now knew her face and that man didn’t forget a thing, meaning he’d figure it out eventually. So Vexx was already in trouble. So what was one trouble more? 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly. The last time, he’d stolen what wasn’t his. This time he wanted to do it right. 

“Oh?” She smiled at him. “I got the impression you don’t ask.” Slowly, she stepped closer to him, their bodies almost touching. 

“I was afraid you’d say no back then,” he admitted, placing a gentle hand on her waist. The other cupped her cheek and tilted her head up. She was so short it was funny. 

“What if I say no now?” 

“Well, you have only a second left to do it. Too late,” he whispered against her lips before capturing them at last. 

Unlike the last time, he was careful and gentle, their lips touching almost hesitantly. He pulled her closer as he deepened the kiss, keeping it slow. The sweet kiss was the only declaration he’d ever give her, the only way to let her know the feelings she’d stirred up in him. 

He cursed himself for falling for the only woman in the entire system that was out of his reach even as he let his hand roam the small of her back. 

He savoured her taste, her scent, the way her arms locked behind his neck. There was none of the heat that had surrounded them during the first kiss, but Vexx still found himself very short of breath and dizzy. This was emotion, this was affection, this was lo-

...no. Let’s not go there. 

He was breathing hard when he pulled away and so was she. There was such a tender look in her eyes when she met his gaze, her cheeks flushed, and she quickly looked away. 

“Shy?” he asked with a small chuckle. 

“Kind of,” she admitted, biting her lip. She still held him close. Kept her arms around his neck. He could swear he could hear her heart beating madly. Or was it his? 

“Who would have thought? Zaeera Peg’asi. Shy.” 

“I’m not exactly expert at these things.” 

“Let me tell you a secret,” he started saying, leaning closer to whisper the rest into her ear. “No one really is.” 

“Liar,” she breathed. 

“Yes. That’s me. A good thing you noticed. That way you won’t be disappointed later.” And he kissed her again. He knew she had no idea what he was talking about right now and he didn’t want her to ask questions about what he meant by that. 

He slid a hand down her arm and laced their fingers together, pulling her forward as he stepped back. “I should take you home before someone notices you’re gone. Or before you get into more trouble.” 

Vexx didn’t bother to lock up behind them. He led her outside and then unmistakably towards better parts of the city. “I still can't believe you just ventured out to find me like that,” he shook his head after a moment of silence. 

Zaeera shrugged. “Well, I knew I had to try something and was out of other options.” 

Shaking his head, Vexx scoffed. “Why would you do something so stupid? There was a reason I never took you anywhere else but Gold district. Things can get really tough around here.” 

“I missed you.” 

Vexx sighed deeply and squeezed her hand briefly. “So you thought it was a good idea to approach complete strangers and ask for help.” 

“I figured someone had to know you,” she replied almost timidly. “Didn't think they'd be so scared to talk to me.” 

More like they had been scared of Vexx's connection to Zovack, but that was something Zae didn’t need to know. 

“Of course they were,” he said instead. "You intimidated them even before mentioning my name. Look at you. Your casual is their best of the best. One look at you and it’s obvious you have more money than they could ever make in their entire life.” 

Zaeera frowned and looked at her clothes. “How can father let this happen?” she whispered. “Here, on Goldis. How much worse are things somewhere else?” 

“Much, much worse, princess,” Vexx replied gravely. “One day you’ll see for yourself. And understand why small people hate your family so much.” He glanced at her and the crestfallen expression on her face almost broke his heart. She didn’t deserve to be compared with the rest of her family. She was better. 

Reaching out, he touched under her chin gently. “Your father won’t be here forever. Things will be better then.” 

He could see it in her eyes that she desperately wanted to believe him. Maybe even more than he wanted to believe it himself. Because if things were the same, the cost he was about to pay for it would be too high. And the worst thing was, he wouldn’t know until after all of them were dead. Only then he’d know for sure whether or not Zae’s death bought better days for them all. 


	7. Maybe a farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Irresponsible of you, Serif. You are a terrible influence on her.”  
> "And yet she’s never been happier,” Vexx shot right back.  
> She took a deep breath through her nose. “And yet she’s never been happier,” she assented. “You are a piece of work, Seriff.”  
> Looking away from her, Vexx nodded. “You have no idea, Your Highness.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a little longer, I know and I'm sorry. Real life can get messy :D
> 
> (And sorry for typos and mistakes as usual.)

The footfalls had died down at least and the only sound was now their beating hearts and quickened breaths. 

With a small, hopeful smile, Vexx’s head stuck out from behind the heavy drapery. The corridor was empty and completely silent. Not even sounds from the ball room reached them any more. 

Without much ado, Zaeera’s head appeared next to his as she looked around. “All clear it seems,” she said and moved to leave their hiding spot. 

A hand caught her wrist and pulled her back. She gasped when their bodies met, his cushioning the landing as he placed himself between her and the wall. 

She laughed gently, placing hands on his shoulders as she rose on her toes, kissing his chin. 

“You missed,” he whispered, obediently lowering his head. His fingers touched the back of her neck when their lips met, trailing up to get lost in her hair. He untied the ribbong holding her mask in place, letting it slip into his waiting palm. 

She pulled away and blinked at him, sending him a quizzical look, but he pulled her closer once again. This time, once he hid the mask in the safety of his pocket, he started undoing her hair. One pin at a time, he let it cascade down her back. He liked her hair better this way. 

She giggled and her fingers found his hand, wanting to take the pins, but he just lifted them up above his head. 

Her eyes sparkled merrily when she broke the kiss again, but her mouth turned into a nasty grin. “You think I don’t know how to deal with people keeping things out of my reach?” 

“Am I in trouble, Your Higness?” Vexx asked with a grin of his own, straightening. 

She bit her lip instead of answering and tilted her head up to invite him for another kiss. “Depends,” she whispered. 

“On?” he whispered back as he hunched forward, brushing her lips with his ever so gently. “What?” 

She moved her head, kissing the corner of his mouth. Her fingers raked his hair into an even messier hairstyle while trailing kisses along his jaw. Vexx closed his eyes when her warm lips touched his neck and stopped breathing when she nibbled at his earlobe. His arms sneaked around her waist to press her even closer. 

And then she snatched the pins from him, accompanying the theft with a gentle bite. Giggling, she slipped from his arms and backed away. Her hair down and wild, her cheeks flushed and eyes shining like stars, it took all of Vexx’s willpower not to reach for her and bring her back to continue. They had decided to call it a night after all. And it was better to stop while he still had enough blood in his brain to understand the consequences of _what if_.

She gave him a victorious smile. “Gotcha,” she laughed as the drapery hid her from him and he let the arm he hadn’t realized had reached out for her to fall back to his hips. He sighed, took a deep, shaky breath and ran a hand through his hair to compose himself. 

_Not very good at this, huh? My ass,_ he thought with a sad smile as he pushed away from the wall. He tried his best not think about what the rest of her skills might feel like. 

And kind of failed. Ooh, the things he would teach her if he could. He could just picture it in his mind’s eye. Her rich, beautiful hair thrown about on a pillow like a halo. Breath catching in her throat. Her fingers clenched tight in his hair. His name nothing but a breathless moan on her lips. Or maybe a scream. Yeah, definitely a scream. 

She gave him a questioning look when he joined her in the middle of the corridor. “What’s that face for?” 

Most likely a mixture of desire and lust, but Vexx made himself shrug nonchalantly as he pocketed his hands. And then quickly thought better of it and pulled his hands out again. “Cheating,” he said as he folded his arms instead. 

She frowned at him, tilting her head to a side. Another questioning gaze that made her look so adorable. 

“You,” he specified. 

She grinned at him. “I am certain I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she whispered, touching her mouth innocently with an end of one of her hair pins. 

That cheeky minx. 

Vexx huffed a chuckle and wanted nothing more than to cross the distance and claim those deceptive lips of hers once again, but figured it was best to keep his distance. “Now that’s a pretty liar.” Looking away from her, he willed his brain to start working again. He made himself think of Zovack. “We should get you to bed.” 

She hummed her reply, her voice low and sultry or maybe it was his imagination, but it did sound like an invitation. 

He cleared his throath, still not meeting her eye. “I mean it. We’ve had fun. We’ve been seen. That’s enough of an adventure for one night.” 

“Have we?” she asked softly. “Maybe I haven’t had enough. Maybe I don’t want to stop,” she added breathlessly as she made a step forwards. “Maybe I don’t care anymore.” 

His eyes shot to her. There was a daring smile on her lips, eyes bright and shining, cheeks flush. What of it was excitement and what alcohol, he wondered. 

“Tomorrow morning you will.” He caught her shoulder and stopped her from coming even closer. “You should know when to stop. You’ve had something to drink, you’ve danced through the night, you’ve just had an adrenaline run...let’s calm down now.” 

She visibly deflated at this and looked away from him. He could see the struggle in her. She knew he was right and yet she didn’t want him to be. And just as Vexx started wondering what would happen if she decided not to listen, she nodded, sighing. 

“Yes. It’s probably for the best to call it a night,” she mumbled reluctantly, not meeting his eye. 

“Good girl,” Vexx whispered with a ghost of a smile. His head also felt clearer than it had a few minutes ago. Now he was certain he’d accompany her to her rooms and actually leave again. 

And he almost laughed out loud at the thought. He of all people – being the responsible one? 

And why? She’d die before anyone would know. Why did he care anyway? Before her, he’d jump at such an opportunity. There was this young, beautiful woman right in front of him, vibrant, intense, and he was so sure she was in the correct mindset at the moment. Seducing her wouldn’t be a problem at all. 

_Because I’ve fallen for her,_ Vexx thought just as he offered her the crook of his arm. 

It wasn’t a sudden realization. He’d known it for a while now. He was in love with the princess. And that meant he cared. Sleeping with her tonight would be using her. It that would be even worse a betrayal than the one he was about to do anyway. The one he had commited already actually. Zovack knew it all now. 

He kissed her hair when she joined her arm with his and avoided her gaze when she looked up at him. 

Of course she would never know how special she was to him. She, the only woman that made him pause and think before crossing that line, and he could never tell her. 

Maybe she’d be happy if he offered to spend the night despite her knowing how wrong it was. Maybe she would be the one to bring it up, too. 

And wouldn’t that be something. Vexx resisted chuckling at the thought. 

“That’s...not the way to my wing of the palace,” she said quietly after a moment. 

“We’re not heading to your rooms just yet.” 

“Then where are we going?” 

He didn’t reply, but the answer soon dawned on her. She didn’t protest though when they neared her eldest sister’s chambers. “Why?” 

“I can take it up with that nosy captain, but I don’t you to be in trouble over something that was my idea in the first place,” he explained softly. 

He took her hand off his arm and brought it to his lips for a chaste kiss. 

She sighed, looking away from him. “I was planning to find him in the morning.” 

“That would be too late, Princess,” he whispered and let go of her. He beckoned her to move in front of him. “In case it’s not Damian, let’s do things right,” he explained with his trademark grin. That reason, and also the fact she looked very... _regal_...from behind. 

She folded her arms as she held his gaze, then rolled her eyes. “Fine, whatever. Let’s wake Nerissa up. I’m sure she’ll appreciate that.” 

“She’s not sleeping yet,” Vexx said, certain of it. There had been many late-night conversations between him and the heir. 

She didn’t comment as she walked up ahead of him. He noticed she held the pins in her hands way too tightly, the skin on her knuckles going white, and wondered why. Was she worried she was in trouble? 

No. He knew how her mind worked. If she was worried, it was for him. Funny. He didn’t care in the slightest. His job was almost done so he could afford to get sacked. He had to meet Zovack in two days and he was almost certain that would be their last meeting before...well, before the wedding. 

It didn’t take a genious to figure it out. The one moment when the family and their closest supporters would be all in one place. The one perfect, glorious moment to strike. 

That was in three weeks. He wondered if he’d be allowed to go back to the palace from that briefing. And dreaded the answer to this question. 

It wasn’t like he could say his goodbyes openly, but he would plan something special for their last night out. And he would know their goodnight kiss would be the last. For him, that would be closure and the only goodbyes he could say. 

And maybe such goodbye would be tonight. That was partly the reason why Vexx had insisted Zaeera and him go to the masquerade tonight. The gnawing suspicion that Zovack wouldn’t let him return. 

The man had been...strange the last time they talked. Maybe it was the incident with Ragna, or something else, but Vexx hadn’t liked the way Zovack had looked at him, questioned him. The way he had been seemingly reluctant to let him back to the palace. 

And maybe it was better if Vexx couldn’t come back. He certainly didn’t want to be around when things would finally hit the fan. 

They had reached their destination while Vexx was lost in his thoughts. Zaeera was just talking to Damian who had a resigned expression on his face. 

“...lieve she hasn’t retired yet, Your Highness.” 

“Good. We’re coming in then. No need to announce us,” Zae told him. 

Damian sighed, giving Vexx a lazy look over Zae’s shoulder. “How did you enjoy the masquerade, Your Higness?” he asked simply, moving out of her way. 

She paused with her hand almost touching the handle. “I would have enjoyed it more had I been invited,” she admitted eventually. There was no need to lie to him. Damian wouldn’t breathe a word about it to anyone. 

“Next time I suggest wearing a mask to avoid...whatever reason you’re here for,” he added. 

She looked at him with her eyes narrowed. “Damian?” 

“Just a humble suggestion, Your Highness.” 

“Hm...a humble suggestion, you say?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. “More on the scathing side, but I’ll let it slip. Vexx, if you would...” she trailed off, opening the door. 

She marched through the antechamber and the room behind that. She paused and knocked on the door leading to the study. It stood gaping open, soft light coming from the room inside. 

There was a rustle of paper before Nerissa replied. “Zae? What are you-?” she broke off with a sigh. “Who saw you?” 

Vexx grinned at the tone. 

“The captain of the guards.” 

“Of all people,” Nerissa sighed again. “How very irresponsible of both of you.” 

Zaeera seemed to be taken aback. 

“Don’t play stupid with me, Zae. Lieutenant!” Nerissa raised her voice to call Vexx. 

Who obediently joined the princess at the threshold, his lips curling into a wide simper. “Your Higness?” Almost mockingly, he bowed. 

Nerissa levelled them with a glare, folding her arms. It didn’t look as threatening as it usually did. Her regal clothes had obviously claimed half her seriousness when she’d taken them off. A light blue dressing gown thrown over a dark grey saten night clothes did little to better the impression. 

Zaeera looked at Vexx, saw the gormless grin and elbowed his ribs. 

Nerissa sighed again and pinched the bridge of her nose. “It’s very late.” 

“We were just on our way back, I swear,” Zaeera pleaded, walking deeper into the room. She stopped on the other side of Nerissa’s desk. “He first noticed Vexx and got angry about him abandoning his post.” 

“As well as he should,” Nerissa couldn’t help herself. 

“But then he noticed me.” 

“Of course. A masquearade without a mask. Also, your hair down?” 

Vexx cleared his throat and joined Zaeera’s side, putting the mask down on Nerissa’s desk. “We’re not stupid.” 

Nerissa’s eyes fixed on Vexx’s face, then dropped to the mask he’d laid down, and finally found the pins in her sister’s hand. “Did anyone else notice you?” 

“Not that we know of, no,” Zaeera shook her head. “We kept to the back of the room, out of the way of anyone too important.” 

“Good,” Nerissa nodded once. And then took a deep breath. “Damian!” she called. 

There was a moment of silence and then the guard joined the three of them. “Princess?” he asked, standing at attention. 

“Would you take my sister back to her room? Lieutenant Seriff is taking over your duty for the rest of the night.” 

Vexx made a face. But whatever, he should be relieved in three hours anyway. Guards always switched at six in the morning. 

But the heir wasn’t done talking yet. “...and postpone the next guard rotation for twelve hours.” 

Now Vexx groaned, looking away. 

“Is something the matter, Lieutenant?” Nerissa asked sweetly. “I would think after such fun and easygoing evening and night you’d be fresh enough, wouldn’t you?” 

Sending her a bright smile, Vexx nodded. “Of course, Your Highess.” 

“But, that’s not-!” Zaeera started, but Nerissa silenced her with a gesture of her hand. 

“I’ll take care of the captain. You were there with my knowledge and permission, should someone ask, and I had appointed Lieutenant Seriff to guard you. And I’ll talk to you in the morning. Good night, sister.” 

Zaeera’s face twisted into guilty grimace as she hung her head. 

Without thinking, Vexx reached out and took her hand in his. Half-way through the emotion he realized what he was doing, paused, and then continued. “It’s gonna be fine,” he said with a reassuring smile, touching under Zae’s chin with his free hand to make her look at him. 

Nerissa lifted her eyebrows, while Damian looked away from them. 

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe that he didn’t feel the punishment fit the crime. Maybe it was just love. 

He took half a step to close the distance between them and kissed her. Nothing too passionate, quite timid in his book. A little goodnight kiss. A little goodbye. Maybe a farewell. 

His voice was hoarser and his throat felt tighter than he would like when he pressed the mask into her hand. “Sweet dreams, Princess, but only about me.” He whispered before finally taking a step back again and turning away from Zaeera. He straightened his uniform as he impudently met Nerissa’s gaze. 

For a moment, the room went still. Zaeera touched her lips as she slowly turned around. “Good night,” she whispered as she headed out of the room. 

Damian moved to follow, but Nerissa gestured him to pause for a moment, letting Zeera get ahead. “Make certain she goes to sleep and then return. I’ve no intention to entrust my life into hands of someone who’s been drinking and partying all night. No offence, Lieutenant,” she sent Vexx a sharp smile. 

Vexx frowned at the heir while Damian sighed with relief. “Please don’t scare me like that ever again, Your Highness,” he smiled, bowed and quickly left them alone. 

“Why did you say you wanted me to take over the guard duty if you didn’t mean it?” Vexx asked when the door closed behind Damian. 

“To punish Zaeera,” she replied as she leaned back and shot Vexx a cross look. “Irresponsible of you, Serif. You are a terrible influence on her.” 

“And yet she’s never been happier,” Vexx shot right back. 

She took a deep breath through her nose. “And yet she’s never been happier,” she assented. “You are a piece of work, Seriff.” 

Looking away from her, Vexx nodded. “You have no idea, Your Highness.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, everyone. Hope you like the new chapter!


	8. The music box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It felt like the world couldn’t reach her.
> 
> Her mind was blank while her body followed the motions. Not that she had that much experience with weddings per se, but it was like any other event. Smile. Be polite, but royal. Stay just the right bit of unattainable and unapproachable. Be beautiful, be graceful and be the envy of everyone in the room. 
> 
> She danced while her heart sped more and more, finally becoming aware of what’s going to happen. She talked and was seen. She praised the beautiful ceremony and honestly envied how much Sorenn seemed to love his wife, and she him.

She took a deep breath as she tried to calm her nerves. Straightening her spine, she smoothed the non-existent wrinkles on her dress. Counted to ten inwardly and then lifted her chin up. Schooling her anxious expression into a polite smile, she opened the door to her own suite and walked in at last. 

She walked through the antechamber, the room behind it and stepped into her bedroom. There, on the other end of the room, she could see them through the open door to her walk-in waredrobe. 

The solar queen, her mother, her royal majesty Lucrezia frowned at several dresses being displayed by Zaeera’s handmaidens. The queen was frowning in thought, a long, manicured finger resting on her chin pensively. 

Alerted by the handmaidans’ surprised reaction to Zaeera’s arrival, the queen turned on her heel and waved her over instantly instead of greeting. “So you have finally decided to honour us with your presence,” she said brusquely. She gestured her resolute: “Not this one,” at one of the dresses and the handmaidan carrying it hurried to put it away. “That’s the first.” 

Zaeera walked to join her mother’s side. “I trust your impeccable taste, mother. Although, isn’t this...too much?” she asked as she assessed the displayed gowns. They were brand new, prepared for her to choose from for Sorenn’s wedding. 

Well, for the queen to choose from. Zaeera had never really had much say in it. But now that she thought about it, maybe it was because of her lack of interest. 

When she was little, of course her mother would choose for her. And later on, she had grown too used to it, too resigned to having every single part of her life being decided for her, that she had never tried. Never before had she had the motivation. 

“I don’t think it would look well if the youngest had more luxurious dress than the bride herself,” she continued slowly. 

She walked to the one that seemed the most plain. Flowing instead of rich skirts. And still heavy on the embroidery, lace and glittering stones side, so no one could argue their price. The bodice especially glinted and glittered in the afternoon sun, giving way to romantic lace covering shoulders and arms. She would need to be careful not to rip it while putting it on. She would definitely need help with that. 

Luckily, no line of tiny buttons anywhere, no lacing at the back, just a simple zipper under the arm, so masterly hidden on the side of the bodice. 

Good. She would definitely need help getting dressed, but she would be able to do without an army of handmaidans to take it off again. And hopefully without much light as well. 

“It wouldn’t do if you looked like a beggar,” the queen all but snarled. 

“That’s what jewels are for,” Zaeera whispered as she touched the fabric. It was surprisingly heavy. The exact opposite of what she liked; breathy and light fabric that didn’t make your shoulders and back ache. “Aren’t they, mother?” she asked, turning back to the queen. “Imagine the diamond necklace father gave me two years ago on my birthday. The matching earrings, too. And the tiara from you?” 

Lucrezia narrowed her eyes. “The one you don’t usually wear...hm...If that doesn’t scream royalty, nothing else does.” 

With a small, triumphal smile Zaeera crossed the wardrobe to open the door of her display case. Her eyes swept over the sparkling beauty behind the pane of glass. Necklaces, breacelets, earrings and rings, couple of tiaras, all ready and expensive. 

_Let’s steal what’s not screwed to the floor and bolt._

She let her hand follow her eyes, moving as if to touch the piece she had just talked about, stilling her fingers just shy of the gems. She knew better than to touch them in front of her mother. 

She whirled around, searching her mother’s face and screamed inwardly to find a hint of approval. 

“Very well,” the queen mumbled, tapping her chin again. “I want to see it.” She gestured for the handmaidans to do their job and Zaeera tried her best to be cooperative. 

“We would go simple with the hair, too,” Lucrezia mumbled to herself as she walked around Zaeera while the servants helped her into the dress. “Careful with the sleeves, you...! If you rip it, it will go from your wage! No, no, the nails won’t do,” she continued, catching Zaeera’s hand to examine her manicure, or rather a lack of thereof. “Hm...turn around? Slowly! Hm...hmmmm...well, it doesn’t look like such a catastrophe. And with the jewels....well. Passable. Yes. I agree. No one will be paying you any attention anyway.” 

And with that warm farewell, the queen moved to leave. Suddenly, she stopped at the threshold and looked over her shoulder, a frown marring her beautiful features. “You’ve been...unsually decisive today.” 

Zaeera couldn’t help but sneer a little. “For the first time in my life I know what I truly want, mother.” 

“A plain dress,” the queen scoffed. “Congratulations.” 

Her steps echoed only briefly throughout the room as the queen finally left, and Zaeera smiled, uperturbed, while all the maids around her suddenly found the floor very interesting. She walked to the display case calmly, and reached out to close the glass window. She smirked at her reflection in the glass. “No, mother dearest,” she whispered. “Only everything that’s not screwed to the floor.” 

...

She walked calmly, her hand holding the sling over her shoulder. Only her white-knuckled grip betrayed her nervousness. She felt nauseous and terrified and excited and proud of herself as she walked down the corridors, zigzagging between staff members, servants and guards alike. 

There weren’t many of them around here as there would be tomorrow morning, and that was why she had to hide it now. Tomorrow she most likely wouldn’t have the chance. And it would help calm her nervers, maybe. One step closer to her goal. One more thing to check off her plan. 

A pair of guards walked from the opposite direction, all but jumping when they spotted her. As did she. It was the last turn. The corridor where she needed to be. But they needed to leave first. 

She took a deep, calming breath. She would be patient. 

She slowed down a little, softening her footfalls, urging herself to appear less in a hurry. A royal had all the time in the world so they didn’t need to rush, right? And so she should, or she’d draw needless attention. Or maybe she was already paranoid, but fear was a good thing. It meant this was big. It meant this was important. This would be her life. She couldn’t mess it up. 

“My lady,” one of the guards nodded their greetings and she blinked as they walked past her. 

“My lady?” she echoed despite herself, pausing as she looked over her shoulder. 

The two guards had stopped as well, staring at her with big eyes. 

Zaeera slowly exhaled. “You’re new here,” she said. Not a question. She’d never seen them before. 

“Yes...m-my lady,” the guard replied, exchanging a look with their comrade. 

Zae curled her lips into a soft smile. Of course. They didn’t know who she was. There was no need to correct their way of address. They’d learn sooner rather than later. “Nice to meet you. Don’t let me delay you any longer. Please, carry on.” One more smile and she turned front again and resumed walking. 

She strained her ears for the sound of their steps and gave a sigh of relief inaudibly when they had continued walking as well. 

She turned the corner, stopped, checked the corridor again and quickly ran to the secret door once the guards were gone. She ran on her toes, as quiet as she could, and stormed into the darkness behind it, pausing with her back pressed to the cold wall. Her heart was beating madly and she let out a ragged chuckle. 

She walked, keeping a hand on the wall. Once she turned the corner, she lowerd the bag on the floor and tucked it closer to the wall. She took out a glowstick from her pocket, broke it and put it on top of it. 

She was strangely breathless when she straightened again. “Wait for me here. I’ll be back tomorrow,” she whispered into the dark. 

...

She turned to the left, then slowly to the right, her eyes fixed on the glittering of her dress as it caught morning sun filtering in through the windows. Her rings sparkled just as much, so did the bracelets. The necklace, a wide diamong choker with chains running down her chest, the longest disappearing in her cleveage, felt constricting and uncomfortable, but it was valuable. Her earrings were small and simple, almost not worth the mention in comparison. 

Oh, and the proverbial cherry on top... 

Her eyes travelled up her reflection until she focused on the tiara. Larger than the one she was used to, heavier too. Her neck would be all stiff and achy come the end of the day. 

“You look lovely, Your Higness!” one of the girls helping her get dressed squaked excitedly. She was one of the newest additions to her retinue and Zaeera was partly ashamed to realize she had never bothered to learn the maid’s name. 

“Thank you,” she replied softly, looking at the girl. Her neck met the cold resistance of the choker and she raised her hand to touch it. There was still enough space between the jewel and her neck, but she constantly had the feeling as if the thing would suffocate her any minute. 

She let her fingers trail down, sliding along the longest chain in the middle, feeling every single one of the diamonds adorning it. How much money was it really worth, she wondered. 

With a sigh, she turned away from the mirror. Shouldn’t she feel...more? More fear? More excitement? More anything? She had been more alive the day before as she’d smuggled her gear across the palace, so why not now? 

She felt simply tired. Tired and weak all at once. Was she getting cold feet? 

Her heels clicked against the floor as she moved to leave her rooms. She paused at the doors and took a deep breath. One of the handmaidans mistook her hesitation and rushed to open the door for her. 

Zaeera looked at her with a soft smile. “Thank you. But that was not necessary. I was simply...this is a big day,” she said eventually. 

“I am certain the whole planet is going to talk about today for months to come!” the maid nodded vigorously, her eyes sparkling merrily. 

Prophetic words, Zaeera mused. She set off, wondering how long it would take them to notice. 

And she tried her best not to think about Nerissa. 

...

It felt like the world couldn’t reach her. 

Her mind was blank while her body followed the motions. Not that she had that much experience with weddings per se, but it was like any other event. Smile. Be polite, but royal. Stay just the right bit of unattainable and unapproachable. Be beautiful, be graceful and be the envy of everyone in the room. 

So she stood tall, with her chin held high, a small smile dancing across lips. She remembered to kiss both cheeks of her brother and his new wife. She wished happiness and luck and all those empty words and phrases. She acted as she had been taught her entire life and once caught Lucrezia nodding her approval. At what, she wasn’t certain. She didn’t care either way. 

The reception was grand. No, grander. The grandest. A huge waste of moeny, a lot of food and drinks, so many people, so many voices. She danced while her heart sped more and more, finally becoming aware of what’s going to happen. She talked and was seen. She praised the beautiful ceremony and honestly envied how much Sorenn seemed to love his wife, and she him. 

And that only helped her quench her fear and strengethen her resolve. She wanted this. And she would have it if this was the last thing she’d ever do. 

Eating little, drinking nothing, she needed her head clear after all, she bided her time. She oscillated between panic and fear and determination and impatience the entire day, and then finally the evening came. And when it did, she wanted more time and yet she couldn’t wait to get lost at last. 

Close to midnight, when most people would move to watch the fireworks in the garden. That was the moment. It would simply appear like she was leaving a little earlier. 

And so, half an hour before midnight, determination steeled her nerves and calmed her heart as she glided away from the room. Nerissa caught her right outside, warm fingers catching her cold hand. 

“Zae! Here you are at last!” she laughed and took both of her hands in hers. Damian looked away while Nerissa tried to rub some warmth into them. “Where are you going? It’s still too early. Oh my, you’re cold.” 

“I wanted to stop by in my rooms to find a warm shawl before the fireworks. And maybe to admire the decorations and catch my breath before guests would start streaming in.” 

Nerissa touched her cheek briefly. “I know you’re not a fan of such events. But this one,” she paused, smiling as she looked back into the room, “is better. Sorenn is so happy.” 

“Yes. He is,” Zaeera replied simply. She should smile. But she couldn’t. 

The smile froze on Nerissa’s lips and she sighed. With Zae’s hand still in hers, she begun walking away, leading her away from the sound and merriment. “I know how painful this must be for you,” she whispered to her once they got past the crowds. 

“Painful?” Zaeera echoed. 

“Seeing them together when...” Nerissa trailed off, uncertain how to finish the sentence. 

Zaeera didn’t offer any help and the two of them, and Damian trailing a few steps behind them, walked through the palace slowly. 

Eventually Nerissa gave up. She sighed instead. “Don’t let it bring you down, little sister, please. Be strong, Zaeera. Be safe.” 

“What are you talking about? Safe?” Did she know?! 

Nerissa paused and cupped Zae’s cheeks in her hands. “You think I didn’t notice the change? You don’t eat as much as you used to. You’ve lost weight the past few weeks. I heard the maids complain that they need to refit your dresses for you.” 

“You don’t need to worry about me, Neri,” Zaeera smiled at last. “Everything’s going to be fine, I promise.” 

Nerissa chuckled softly. “I know it will. You’re a fighter. A survivor. You’ve changed so much this last year. So much that...I know you will be able to handle this.” 

“You’ve inspired me,” Zaeera said softly. “To be brave. To fight for what I want no matter how hard it is. And I will always be grateful for that, Nerissa.” 

“Good qualities, but they were always within you. I’m just happy you managed to find them. And you can do so much more. But...you must remember this,” Nerissa paused, casting a nervous glance around them. The hall was all but empty, the sounds from the ballroom but a weak whisper. “The day when I have to leave you will come. Sooner than we both know. And you must remember how strong you are and survive even without me by your side. Promise. Don’t give up. No matter how difficult it is.” 

“I promise,” Zaeera smiled widely. Tears shone in her eyes for reasons she couldn’t disclose to her sister. This was a goodbye and Nerissa didn’t even know. “And I love you so much. Always will.” 

Damian cleared his throath. “Your Higness, we need to be at the garders before the King and Queens arrive.” 

“Yes, I know,” Nerissa replied curtly, frowning deeply, but then she smiled. “The box,” she said and Damian gave her a small package with a ribbon tighed around it to keep the lid closed. “I know it’s not your birthday yet, but I wanted to give you this a little earlier anyway.” 

“What is it?” Zaeera asked, smiling and blinking her tears away. She pulled at the end of the ribbon, unravelling the neat knot. She lifted the lid and looked inside, letting out a small breath at the sight. She tilted the box, carefully spilling the cold, round object into her hand. It felt so light in her palm and she smiled as her fingertip traced three letters ingraved into the surface, her sister’s initials. 

“So that you always think of me when you look at it. Or listen to it. Here,” Nerissa smiled and leaned closer, leading Zaeera’s hands to press the top. 

The box popped open and the world was suddenly filled with the softest of melodies. Zaeera held her breath as she watched the hologram inside shimmering brightly, the small cogwheels rotate, and the way the rich blue lights danced inside. The melody, both sweet and haunting, tugged at her heart and new tears welled up in her eyes. 

She closed the box, and pressed it close to her heart. She smiled at her eldest sister widely and wished to find the right words to express what the gift meant to her. Right here and now, it was everything. “Neri,” she started, but Nerissa placed a finger across her lips. 

“I love you, too,” she smiled, cradled her cheek for a moment, then stepped away. “I need to go, but I’ll find you when this is all over, okay?” 

Zaeera closed her eyes and pressed a fisted hand to her mouth. She wanted to nod, but found that she couldn’t. She wouldn’t be there for Nerissa to find her. “I can’t wait untill we can speak again,” she said eventually. 

Nerissa laughed gently, wiping tears away from her face. “Aw, I didn’t mean to make you cry, my dearest.” She hugged her, trapping the little music box between them. She kissed Zaeera’s hair. “Please try to have fun tonight, okay?” 

Zaeera nodded and then cold replaced Nerissa’s warmth and both her sister and her guard were gone. The hall around was not exactly deserted, but it felt like Zaeera was the only person in there at the moment. 

Her hands closed around the musix box, the pearlescent surface throwing off light all around. She made a sad grimace. Kitalphanite. 

A year ago, she would have marvelled at its beauty. Now? She felt troubled. She was here, privliged and receiving such valuable gifts while many others were so unlucky. Such thoughts had plagued her for a while now thanks to Vexx and all he had showed her, and now made her feel guilty beyond words. 

She let out a ragged breath and brought the music box to her chest, cradling it close to her heart as she closed her eyes. Selfish, maybe, but she’d keep this. If she’d eventually sell everything else, this she would treasure. This was memory. This was love. This was Nerissa. 

She slowly set off again, not trying to appear like she was in a hurry. She rubbed Nerissa’s initials carved into the music box as she walked, hoping, praying, wishing her eldest sister would understand and forgive her. 

Why was it so difficult to leave all of a sudden, Zaeera wondered. She had been so determined, and suddenly her resolve was waning. Regrets filled her heart, fear made her stumble, her chest heaving. Tears stung in her eyes as she found her way through the maze of corridors. 

Her breath loud and almost wheezing in the darkness of the secret tunnel, her heart beating madly as she bent over, fighting to control her emotions. Not now. Not when she was so close! 

Then it all stopped. She caught a glimse of light, a weak, almost dying, the glowstick she’d left there the previous day. She sauntered to it, almost reluctantly, and tried to ignore how much her hands trembled as she fumbled for the zipper. She pulled out her catsuit, one she’d bought just for this occation. Her other clothes, albeit casual and ordinary to her, were too much, Vexx had said once after all. 

The music box clanked softly as she put it on the floor next to the catsuit. 

Her fingers were cold as she started undressing, eyes closed. The air was warm, but chills ran down her spine as she carefully slipped out of the dress, only murmuring swear words to help with the process a few times. She’d calmed down by the time she’d put on the catsuit. She had practiced every single night the past week, just to be able to put it with almost no light to speak of. 

She fished for her strap-on pocket then, fastening it to her left thigh and put the music box in. No matter how foolish it seemed, she refused to part with it. Everything else she stored in the bag; her dress, her jewels, the tiara and the glowstick. She zipped it up and slung across her shoulder. 

One hand on the wall she walked towards the exit. She felt cold, she felt empty, she felt small, and unsure all at once, but she had to continue. She was certain she could find her way to Vexx’s home if she tried hard enough, and she had all the time in the world now. 

Well, at best she had until the royals woke up after a night of partying and noticed she wasn’t present at te meal. Or maybe they’d ignore it and become suspicious at lunch. Either way, not too long before the search would start. 

And Nerissa would notice straight away. 

She took a deep breath as she left the bag just behind the door outside. She didn’t want to draw needless attention to herself by hauling the thing along. She’d come back for it with Vexx. 

She could imagine it vividly. Her hand in his, smiling, laughing and ready to face the world together. Oh, and how he would be surprised after learning what was inside the bag. That much money should be a good starting point and who knew where they’d end up next. She’d demand a kiss before showing him though. A long one, the kind that left her breathless and longing for more.

And speaking of more... oh well...the thought did make her heart speed up. 

Artificial light flooded the corridor briefly, stung in her eyes as she slipped through the narrow door. The air was chilly, and she shivered, an arm raised to block the light. That wasn’t right. The light was never this bright. 

“I knew I heard something!” 

“What the-!!”

“Your Highness?!” 

She blinked into the light. A group of three men stood in front of her, one of them aiming a torch to get a proper look at her. She couldn’t see much beyond their dark figures, but she did recognize the voice of one of them. 

Just as the officer slapped the torch down, her own heart sunk deep down as well. 

She couldn’t remember his name straight away, but she knew the officer – Vexx’s friend. It seemed the three of them were hiding in the dark nook, shirking their duty judged by the cards spread across a nearby stack of crates. 

Of all the times to get caught... 

She bit her lip. “Is there any chance to persuade you that you didn’t see me?” 

Two of the guards looked to the officer for help, then back at her and at the officer again. So she focused on him. 

Jonas. Jonas was his name. He was opening his mouth and closing it in a quick succession. “Where did you-?” he gasped. 

She tilted her head, giving him the most charming smile she could while playing with her hair. “Oh and in exchange I could, y-you know, forget what I saw here. I mean, the cards over there, heh,” she pointed at what was obviously a middle of their game. 

Inside, she trembled. She couldn’t be caught and brought back to face her father. Couldn’t. That would be the end of it. The end of it all! 

And just as the thought crossed her might, the true end came. 

There was a loud explotion that rocked the ground beneath her feeth. She gasped as the three guards whirled around. One of them searched the sky. They all spoke at once. 

“That came from the pala-!” 

“The fireworks?” 

“Too early for the fire-“

Another explosion, quickly followed by gunfire. 

Shouting split the night. More shooting. Screams. She was grabbed. Jonas yelled something. She didn’t hear him. She stumbled backwards, forward, away, back! 

“Not that way! Away from the palace! Get her to safety!” 

“But-!”

“The Orsana Guard post! Go!” 

“Your Highness, please!” 

“What is-?”

“I’m sorry!” 

They ran. Hand in hand as the night went alive with fire and light and screams and then she saw them. People with weapons. Pistols. Rifles. Groups meeting in the streets. She caught a glimplse of the palace. The orange sky, dancing blaze coming from behind the walls. 

She gasped, her hand slipping from the sweaty grasp of the guard when she faltered to a stop. “No-!” 

Nerissa! 

The guard called at her. She felt his hand close around her forearm. And then he let her go. She covered her ears instinctively, curling in on herself as shots reverbarated all around. She screamed, eyes closed tightly as she backed away from the guard sprawled on the cold ground. 

The uniform and night had stolen the colour, but she had seen it. The spray of blood as the bullets riddled his torso, the dark red mist the body left in the air as it fell down. The soundless gasp, the gurgle, the last twitch of the hand reaching towards her. He tried to speak, his lips were moving, but she couldn’t hear it. 

“And who might you be?” 

Cold and tight, fingers clenced around her elbow, yanking her towards one of them. She looked at him, eyes wide, heart hammering and breath caught in her throat. “You’re standing in our way, sweetie,” he growled with a wicked grin as he indicated the rest of his group. 

“The guard tried to pull her away,” one of them said, nudging the body on the ground with his foot. 

“Doesn’t look important,” the one holding her frowned, eyeing her clothes. “All important ones are inside. But...what do we have here?” Reaching with his free hand, he tried to get to the pocket, to the bulge that was the music box. 

“NO!” She roared her protest, anger and stupidity burning as bright as the fire consuming the palace. Her hand hit his face, the impact echoing up her wrist and forearm painfully. 

He let her go. Briefly. Ominously. “You bitch!” The butt of the rifle closed in. Sharp, white pain exploded. It consumed her world and she fell, spiralling through the air. 

She heard screams and shooting, so close, and yet so far away. Her ears were ringing as her chin collided with the hard ground. She kept on falling, landing into the soft arms of the darkness. 

...no. 

No? 

**No!**

She opened her eyes, scared and tired, too quick, too quick! It hurt to move her head as she looked around, migraine hammering behind her eyes and left temple. There was darkness. There was silence. She was sitting up all at once and the world around her swayed violently. The pillow swallowed her again. 

“No...?” she mouthed inaudibly, the word echoing around in her aching mind over and over. The small room around her kept spinning and then suddenly it did not and she didn’t understand a thing. She pushed herself up her elbows as she looked around. 

Was this a cell? 

That made sense. 

A cell. 

Was she...a prisoner? It felt right and yet... 

Why? There was a reason. She knew it! It was there. At the back of her mind. But it hurt so much. The ache brought tears to her eyes and she grimaced, covering her eyes. Her heart sped up and then she realized...she couldn’t remember!

The door hissed. And she gasped, terrified out of her mind. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you were awake.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end. We all know where this story is going now from this point.
> 
> Thank you for reading and for sticking by and for all your amazing kudos and comments, thoughts and insights, of course! It wasn't a long story, but I enjoyed writing it and I hope you liked it to some extent as well. 
> 
> I'm also sorry for all those typos and mistakes, I'm trying to catch them all, but they are mean and keep hiding until I post. But I try to find them and fix it. Anyway...enough of my rambling. Thank you again and see you next time ;)


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